How do I cope?

Well, of course you wait . Simply no point talking to your family before you can be rational rather than emotional.  At the moment you want to reach out which I totally understand as did I 

Sorry , line went down. Anyway ,

following on, be strong and wait for your results. 10 days will feel like a lifetime I know but better the devil you know ..

Tken make decisions.

I was diagnosed in 2011 and still alive and more than kicking !

Thank you Gertrudej your advice is welcomed and I know I do not have the answers at the moment.  I will wait until then but I’m all over the place and think I’m going to crack at any moment 

Hi Grandma03, welcome to the group! I was diagnosed in November 2021, having had investigations in September and October. I had told them I was having some gynae investigations and might need a hysterectomy. I chose not to tell them that it was cancer until I knew the predicted grade and stage. That was better for me. 

I waited to tell the family until I had a full picture of what was going on and the treatment plan.  I just kept it between me, husband and a couple of very close, discreet friends who didn't mind if I fell apart from time to time.  I know that various family members are real worriers and I would end up supporting them rather than the other way round!   I have had my hysterectomy and radiotherapy.  You will get through this, I promise.

Thank you MarmiteFan59.  I've had post menopausal bleeding since October last year and have had numerous scans and procedures  the worst part for Ms ix pretending that things are same as usual.  My husband agrees with your decision and thinks its best for me too.

Thank you Crow 64,  its been 9 months since I first started with post menopausal bleeding  and I just want to get things moving.  I've told my husband and our neighbour who is a great friend.  My BIL had cancer last year and that affected some close family so I don't want them to worry all over again  as my sister told everyone as soon as cancer was a possible diagnosis.  I will wait until I have all the information before telling them but the waiting is getting me down.

Hello Grandma03,

I'm sorry you find yourself here and atm not knowing the full facts. If you click on my name you can read my bio which may help. 

We, as a family had suffered a huge loss when my son died so I was more worried about the family coping with this news rather than my own emotions when I was actually told cancer was found from biopsies, even though I initially wasn't told what grade of cancer, only the stage at first.

I decided to wait until there was a plan forward going and then told my immediate family and close work colleagues (as I was going to be off work, having only just returned about a year from long term absence from bereavement)

This way, I thought was better because I didn't have all the questions asked of me as I told them all I knew,  ie, "it's cancer, it's high grade but early stage, it's going to be full hysterectomy, likely will need chemo and recovery about six weeks etc,"

that's all I knew and that was it.

You WILL get through this, I am fit and well and not on any meds, just watching my diet as I'm prediabetic, I continue to look forward and not back. You have found this wonderful group on here, it helped me immensely and hopefully you WILL find the support you need here too. Please do ask away any questions however small or unusual you may think as someone on here has been through exactly the same.

I wish you well, whatever the outcome (remember the MDT will plan your treatment etc specifically tailored to your condition for YOUR best possible outcome) and hope you continue to share your journey as it will also help others seeking help on this forum. X

Thank you Madesp

After reading what you went through makes me realise that there’s always someone worse off than myself.

I have Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis which cause constant pain and half the time I don’t know if they’re causing the pain or if it’s something related to the cancer.

im more worried about my younger daughter as she lives over 500 miles away and I’ll have to tell her over the phone and my mum is almost blind.  Telling them it’s cancer feels like the easy part and dealing with it is frightening.

Both my daughter and niece got engaged recently and they’re so excited, I feel bad about telling them that it’s going to take away from their happiness.

i also have diabetes and was watching my diet but at the moment my diet has been pushed to the side as I don’t seem to have an appetite.

in the past I’ve struggled with mental health issues and currently have some concerns about it, I think I should maybe speak to my GP and see what they recommend is best.  The waiting for answers is driving me crazy.

At first I wasn’t sure about this forum but you’ve all been so helpful and supportive and able to share how I feel.

Thank you all

Grandma, have you been given the contact number for your CNS (Cancer Nurse Specialist)? I found my team of CNS to be a fabulous resource that I could phone any time during office hours Monday-Friday and tell them how I was feeling, ask questions and get support. It was one of my CNS that I asked to see after I got my results so that I could talk through how to tell my adult children. The Macmillan help line is excellent too - and open 8am-8pm 7 days a week. Although it doesn’t feel ok, it IS okay and understandable to be anxious, and talking it through as many times as you need to will help. There should also be a Maggie’s Centre at your hospital where you can go for support. It’s totally “normal” to feel anxious and overwhelmed and we can learn our own way of negotiating the ups and downs and the lulls in between as we wait. It’s also “normal” to feel overwhelmed - but we can find ways of understanding ourselves better and coping with it. I would encourage you to try and find ways of meeting this head on - I found it the best way. You mentioned maybe speaking to your GP re help for your mental health - I’d suggest trying talk therapy and other things first. What you’re feeling is entirely normal, usual and understandable but it is possible to find a way through. Posting here can help too as can making friends here and chatting privately. When I was diagnosed, it was at about the same time as a few other ladies here, and we added each other as friends on here and sent private messages to each other, then with one or two we moved onto chatting on Facebook or email. It can really help to be in close contact with people who are going through similar emotions and situations. And those friendships can stay after op and treatment too.