The Cherry on top of the cake.

You have faced so many health challenges and with the diagnosis of womb cancer I can totally understand it feeling like the last straw. The shock of it plus the not yet having the definite plan must be a worry. I haven't got anything I can think of to say but once I had the plan for my treatment I felt better because I knew what to expect. My hysterectomy was done within 4 weeks of first symptoms and I remember the whirlwind at the time and all the different emotions. I found the community on here really supportive and also used the online chat function to talk to an advisor. The not sleeping bit is horrible and its natural to worry. Take care

Thank you for replying Jane, just putting it all down on 'paper' has helped. It's hard for me to open up, only a hand full of people even know. I'm certainly not a person who wants everyone to know their business, but that is a two edged sword.
I hope you're well and on the way to full recovery..*hugs*  

I know what you mean about writing it all down- it does help. I can understand the need for some privacy- I was the same to begin with but most people mean well I have found. Once I knew the diagnosis and treatment plans I did find it helpful to share it. I felt people would notice that I looked ill- for a few months it was obvious- and I decided I would rather they knew the circumstances from me rather than me being talked about and people putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5. 

I am doing ok- I have my first check up clinic next week- so feeling a bit nervous. Also have some lasting effects from the chemo and radiotherapy that I need to talk to them about. So much better than in October when my treatment was finished 

Yes, I have one other person, other than family, who knows and she likes to be kept in the loop and I will tell others when the time is right, but for now I am not in the need for sympathy, at least not in that way.
As for looking/feeling unwell, I did have to laugh, I always look like that!  Funnily enough one particular friend always thinks there is something up when I'm having a good day/week, it must be the unusual twist of my mouth, the one that people say is smiling? *laughs*
I really hope all goes well for you at your visit next week, you'll have to let me know.

Hi Karen, welcome to the group (and to the emotional rollercoaster that ensues with such a diagnosis) - it’s totally understandable and “normal” to feel overwhelmed by getting this news. I do feel for you, especially with the extra things that you’re already coping with, and it’s okay to feel anxious about all of this. We’ve all been there, and either gone or still going through diagnosis and treatment. You’re not “wrong” to feel and behave like you have been - do it for as long as you need to - but hopefully soon you will turn a corner and wake up once day with just enough pragmatism and motivation (only needs to be a tiny bit) to face and get through what lies ahead. You’ve already mustered the emotional resources needed to endure and get through your other health issues, and in time and with support you will be able to find the little bit extra needed to face this giant. If you haven’t already, you should soon be given the contact details of your specialist CNS (cancer nurses) who are typically available during office hours Monday to Friday to offer you support. I phoned them a LOT after diagnosis, so much so that eventually I didn’t need to say my name lol. They were glad as they said that’s what they’re there for and that they’d rather women called them often than left it till they were in totally meltdown mode. There’s also the Macmillian phone helpline which is open 8am-8pm 7 days a week. I phoned them a few times too and they were lovely. I have a supportive husband and adult children but I was aware of the emotional impact on them too, so I chose to seek most of my support from my CNS and Macmillan, to ease the impact on my loved ones as it was hard for them too. If you’d like to read my story, click on my name and read my profile. People on here and in real time often said I was strong, brave etc and I found it annoying lol because I don’t think I was/am. Putting ourselves under pressure to be strong etc can drain us as none of us can maintain that all the time, and we can then feel like failures when we can’t. So I opted for pragmatism instead - accepting my diagnosis but also being determined to do what needed to be done to get through this. And here I am a year the other side of hysterectomy and 9 months the other side of the end of my radio. Be kind to yourself, reach out when you can, and get this done. You can do this. 

Sending positive thoughts your way. I too have arthritis (osteo) and a few other health issues when this was diagnosed just over a month ago. Like you I live near a university hospital that have a cancer unit that is highly regarded. It is perfectly normal to feel anxiety even with a cancer that is responsive to treatment.

Regarding sleeping if you are napping on the sofa it’s not surprising that it’s hard to sleep at night. Plus, this time of year can lead to more day napping. I experience this too and try to limit napping and stick to set bedtimes finding that even if it takes a while I do fall asleep.

As for losing interest in everything around you. I would suggest talking to the Macmillan Support  Line. It’s a lot to process and they might have ideas to assist.