Ways to deal with anxiety - let’s share ideas!

Thank you for this thread MarmiteFan59 I will be watching for some ideas myself. I was very positive at first and have no reason not be now as final stage 1b grade 3 with adjuvant radiotherapy. However lately I have had the feeling I’m less of the person I was and almost caught in a type of stasis. I feel most of the time I’m being positive for other people, either to make them feel better or not be a burden on them. My anxiety has become stronger and more intense. 
I love playing with and walking the dogs. I’ll try some of the games  you mentioned for the iPad they may help to reset my mind. 

Thank you for this thread MarmiteFan59 – what a great idea. I'm not good with word games myself and my fingers and eyes tire when using apps. But I do love nature and birdsong, though getting out of the house isn't always as easy as I'd like when the anxious feelings come.

What helps? Well, I've been using a lot of sensory therapy recently – have got some aromatherapy pulse point scents, scented hand creams, etc. I keep these things close to my bed and in my handbag so that if difficult thoughts come I have uplifting smells close by.

It can be really hard to concentrate when anxious so I also got myself some books from the library with beautiful pictures – books about gardens and all sorts of other beautiful things so that I don't have to worry about taking in too much text.

While I have lovely family pictures I actually find this can cause me more anxiety at times when I think of what is at stake or get upset that I am able to see children and grandchildren so very infrequently so I am careful to balance where I locate my thoughts and not to feel rejection on top of anxiety.

I finally got myself some "fiddle objects' – pebble, beads, etc – knitting and crochet would likely help in a similar way but I get too upset when my tension is uneven, I drop heaps of stitches and my work is all holey. Maybe I should just knit or crochet anyway?

My eyesight is too poor now for embroidery although that could be relaxing in past.

When I am up to it I love going for walks but struggle to swim now – had a few difficult experiences in the water.

I can feel a bit unsteady out walking so am trying to plan different places and learn to do something I would never do before namely get a bus to a park that has plenty of benches where I can rest, beautiful trees and flowers.  Unfortunately the travel does have a cost so has to be rationed.

Having a coffee in a cafe is also a treat but again the cost can add up so sometimes it is just sitting on a bench with a flask in hand – hot or cold beverages depending on time of year, in the winter a little mulled wine even – listening to the birds and feeling the breeze or the sun, hopefully not a gale. This doesn't work so well, however, when it is really cold and my feet fall easily asleep.

It is many years since I saw the sea but having been brought up on the coast this is a beautiful place I can still take my mind to when anxious. I have dropped hints to my family to help me re a holiday but no one took me up on it yet and maybe they never will. Perhaps I just need to be brave and do the trip alone before time runs out. I think of eating salted chips (haven't had for many years) as I only really eat them at the seaside, walking along a pier (many beautiful past memories) or just eating ice-cream.   I remember a course where we were told to have a ready stock of good memories to lock into when the anxious storm clouds come.

Baths used to help me with anxiety but I can get a bit lost in them nowadays and hate the feel of my skin if I haven't been able to get myself out for two hours!!

I can't have a pet where I live so I have sensory soft toys and blankets for comfort instead.

To sum up it's a patchwork of things to try and keep myself safe and grounded. But I'd be lying if I said these things always work. Some days are just difficult, but then I acknowledge the losses I have suffered and accept that anxiety can be fall-out from grief, tears can be healing, sometimes we just need to let them flow.

It's okay to not be okay, positivity isn't always helpful, difficult thoughts still need to be processed, and though we can reach out, help support each other so that none of us need feel totally alone, anxiety may yet rear its ugly head...  If it does, then at least don't feel you failed... You didn't!

Sending love to everyone xx

Great idea Marmitefan59

Anxiety is indeed a part of the cancer journey. Whatever stage we are at- the waiting for diagnostic tests, waiting for surgery, the op, the waiting for the post op pathology and then the anxiety when you get told that further treatment is needed. My worst anxiety was when I was told I was to have chemo and then during chemo when I had to go in suddenly with an infection. 

Post treatment my anxieties revolve around my check up appointments- I have one next week.

I think part of the anxiety is because cancer takes away the control we have and when embarking on our cancer experiences we are facing the unknown. It feels like anything or everything can happen. 

What helped me was to break things into steps. To face it all at once can feel overwhelming so for me it was - get through the op, then focus on chemo and then focus on the radiotherapy. 

Talking to others helps, sometimes people we know, sometimes people that we don't know personally- as on here- but who become an important part of our journey. Expressing how you feel is important and to have someone else acknowledge how you are feeling is really helpful. Sometimes its not coming up with any answers or solutions but just having someone to listen to you.

Exercise helped me- regular walks in my local area and just getting out in the fresh air- even if to begin with it was just to potter around in my garden. Nature calms me, whether it is the river walk near me, or when I am out taking photos of nature. 

I do online jigsaws and find they can take my mind off things. They keep you busy but you don't have to think too much. I also knit, play the piano and like to listen to music. I also find that pets can be a great distraction- especially having 3 cats! 

Jane

Hi Sofarsogood, bless you and this whole thing can be mentally exhausting. When does your radio start? I had my radio Apr-May 2022. Resetting my mind is exactly what the word games do for me. They’re what I look at first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Words with Friends 2 is free but there are ads between games - I have opted to pay monthly so I don’t, as I enjoy it so much and I find it so therapeutic as it helps reset and order my mind. And Tapped Out is actually quite fun! 

Hi All

It is hard for sure its the constant not knowing I believe I am fine and NED but occasionally my brain throws me a curve ball and makes me doubt it.  

So for me Yoga has helped never done anything like this pre cancer and now love it, I am relax and feel good after it.  

Walking too I have a dog and have always loved walking and still do.

Take care all xx

Lots of great advice, thank you Jane. After reading your reply I tried my first (very easy) on-line jigsaw puzzle but gave up after a few minutes as it made my eyes go a bit funny – felt incredibly strange trying to move pieces around on a screen. Very different from a traditional puzzle. Still, glad I gave it a go. Thank you.

I had never done them before but bought a tablet when I was first diagnosed and got into them. It did take a while to be able to do them. 

Hi everyone

II suffered from time to time from anxiety before cancer, and mine wasn’t for anything in particular, which was crazy!  However to deal with anxious times with cancer I do online jigsaws, they really take my mind off everything else and are fairly easy, but a good distraction.  I do enjoy talking and being with friends and I found going to work and just being with people helpful, that was going to work in between diagnosis and the operation.  I also started knitting, which I haven’t done for years.  When I found out I had to have chemotherapy I decided to knit a hat to keep my head warm when I had no hair!

I think basically to help anxiety, do something to distract yourself and to try and keep your mind off cancer (very hard I know).  Do something you enjoy or take up a new hobby that you have always wanted to try, you might find something new  and that you like out of something bad.  Also, even when you start doing something and you feel it doesn’t distract you fro your thoughts, try to keep at it, as eventually it will take your mind off everything.

Good luck and take care to everyone

Ange

Hi Ange- I also started knitting again and found it helped with the neuropathy after chemo. Knitted a scarf which I hadn't done in years. I also worked until the day of my op and I found that helped me as it was a distraction.

Hope your chemo is going ok. I found once I had started it, it wasn't as bad I as expected.

Jane

Hi all

Lots of great and interesting advice on here. For me I find keeping myself busy, having friends and family round and being open helps. Talking is a great therapy (with my trusted ones) they help me see things from different angles when I have a lot of ' What if' moments. I also like to play word searches and games on my tablet, non competitive ones, helps me relax, much to the annoyance of my husband, lol, who thinks I have too much screen time! I also find when I'm anxious I cannot relax or concentrate to watch a film

 I have accepted, that on this journey like Marmitefan59 says here that anxiety is part and parcel of this whichever way we look at it, Iets live in the moment as there's no guarantees for you me or any other being without a cancer diagnosis that we will live tomorrow, everything is out of our hands, all I can do is take care of myself the best way I can, the rest is up to the universe. 

Wishing you all  a lovely Sunday ladies, take care and love yourselves, YOU are what matters. X