Journey's End - Unexpected Feelings

Did you not manage to lose any weight before? I’m fat (very) PCOS, T2, no children…my biopsy results showed precancerous cells…off I went for a cancellation hysterectomy only to be sent home due to high blood sugar levels (that’s when I was diagnosed T2). although consultant said weight might cause complications they were more concerned with blood sugar levels…6 weeks on my sugar levels are almost down to pre diabetic numbers and I’ve lost 18,5lbs…my hysterectomy is booked for 18th September and in the meantime they’ve given me a mirena coil which I hate as not stopped bleeding since the damn thing was out in, but I’ll persevere!

Were you still overweight when you had your hysterectomy? If so did you have any complications at all? I’m terrified about my op but know it needs to be done.

Pleased to hear you don’t need any further treatment x

Hello Louise

Am glad that you are nearly recovered from your hysterectomy 6 weeks ago and that the pathology confirmed that the cancer was all contained in the womb. It sounds like you have had a long journey. I found it strange when I had finished my treatment, I expected to feel elated but instead it just all felt a bit flat to begin with. So much of your time is taken up with the cancer and the hospital visits and then it is back to you again. I think part of it is time is needed to process and work through everything that you have been through. Also I found it takes time to realise that life can never be exactly as it was before a cancer diagnosis. I think you question a lot and sometimes realise what is most important in life- it's a sort of time to evaluate everything. It's good that you are having a follow up in 3 months so this is an opportunity to talk about how you are doing.

I still have 3 monthly appointments and although it sometimes feels like you can't move on from the cancer, it is reassuring to be checked. I have found that finishing the active treatment just brings a whole range of emotions and I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to feel. I just try and go with the flow most of the time and that normally works for me. 

I feel lucky in some respects as compared to you my treatments were done very quickly. I had surgery last April. May-Aug was chemo and Aug/Sept was radiotherapy. So all within 6 months. It must have been hard to feel your life was on hold for the 3 years. I can understand that  you don't feel prepared for the next stage yet- 3 years is a long time to have all of this going on. But I found it does get better. I am so much better that I was 6 months ago. Not back to normal- whatever normal is! but life feels good again. I don't think anyone ever bounces back after this journey- it may be a cliche- but time can be a healer and this is what I am finding.

Hope this helps. If you ever feel like a chat would help then please consider giving the support line a call. They will understand where you are at.

Jane

Duffers Mum  I hope that your hysterectomy goes as planned in September. Am sorry that you are having bleeding on the mirena coil. It must be miserable for you. Please do not feel so scared about your hysterectomy- we have all been there. I found the surgery straight forward and had very little pain from it. Is there anything in particular you are worried about? If so please do post on here and we can support you. No surgery is nice but when I had mine I was just so glad to get the cancer removed. I was worried before hand and I think that is natural but I was well looked after and am sure you will be too.

Jane

It’s because I’m fat, that’s the main worry, then there is the T2 diabetes to contend with too now…I’m always terrified when I have to have a general, worried I won’t wake up….then if I do wake up that there might have been complications due to my weight, that recovery might take much longer….I’ve now lost 19.5lbs so I’m doing ok but my BMI is still over 40.

Well done on losing 19.5lbs- that's a big achievement. I can understand your worries about your weight and diabetes. I hope that they are giving you support around your worries. I don't know much about sugar levels but it sounds like you have managed to get them right down as well. I am sure that they will monitor you more and would only go ahead if it is safe. 

They said they would be happy with a level of 68, so I’m well under that…I hope it will all be fine I just have this fear of having a general…I had one when they removed polyps back in 2019 but had a right meltdown just before and that op was only approx 25 minutes, this one will be much longer..I know they wouldn’t do op if there were any concerns so I have to put my trust in them, just want it over and done with…off to Corfu with the grandchildren next week so that will stop me overthinking things for a while!

Have a lovely time with your Grandchildren. I do understand your worries though. When I had my hysterectomy it was my first big operation. I had minor op (wisdom teeth) 28 years ago but that was it. But on the day my anaesthetist was so kind and reassuring and I knew I had to do it. 

Jane

I’ve had both my knees replaced but I refused a general and had a spinal block for both…I’d much rather be going through that again than a hysterectomy I must admit…I’ve had tonsils and adenoids out as a youngster but you never seem to worry as much when a child!

Well done on getting through your surgery and working through your recovery. I had similar feelings when I'd finished my treatment. I felt a bit lost and vulnerable and, whilst there are follow up appointments, there's always a bit of uncertainty about the future. In Sheffield we have an organisation called Cavendish Care who provide post treatment support and alternative therapies e.g. acupuncture, massages, reiki. I've got a session with them soon so I'm hoping they will help me 'adjust' to this next stage of my life in a positive way. 

 F4Fruitcake , wow what amazing news for you. It’s a very strange feeling when you hear that the surgery has removed everything and your cancer free, it’s like wow whats just happened . I was talking to a friend recently who had womb cancer and had just surgery like you and like me and they said they felt like they hadnt had cancer and feel a bit of relief but also unsure of if everything has really gone and is it all just a bad dream. The 3 month checks or check up schedule in general does in my way two things it keeps an eye out for any problems but also it acts a reassurance too. My team were fantastic and your seem so great too as from what you were saying you had the extra issue of being overweight and probably told to loss some of it, which can be hard in the best of circumstances but extra so with the concerns you must of had and the robotic surgery sounds so amazing i have heard a few mention it and i am glad your surgeon was clearly supportive towards you doing everything possible indeed well done to them. I can say though that at each check up i had i felt more and more reassured i was free from cancer and that was a huge relief, hears hoping for the same for you.

sending gentle bear hugs