Anxious

Hello Elmo1971

I am sorry that you are feeling anxious about going back to work after your annual leave. It sounds perfectly natural to me when you have been having these tests and with the menopause. I am sure there are many of us on here that will identify with that. 

I hope that you do not have to wait too long to have your hysteroscopy under GA. It is good that they already have a polyp to test and hopefully the blood test results will be reassuring. 

I can understand about not wanting to go back to work and just needing to have answers rather than just waiting. One thought is could you contact the hospital and go on a cancellation/short notice list for the hysteroscopy? Also potentially for the MRI once you get more of an indication of when it will be.

Have you got anyone at work that you are friends with who can offer support? Does your manager know that you have been having these tests? I just remember last year during my tests and diagnosis, it really helped that the manager and friends at work knew what was happening. Not all the details but enough to know I needed some support. I used to text them the night before or first thing in the am and say if I was having a wobbly day and they would know to put the kettle on before I got in. It was surprising how much the little things helped. I also found on some days being occupied at work and being around others gave me less time to worry.

Hope this helps a bit and I hope you do not have to wait too long. 

Jane

Hi Elmo 1971

I'm sorry to read about your health problems and your anxiety, (which is understandable).

I really cannot understand why you are having to wait so long for a MRI scan...please demand that you have one much sooner. Also, you need to have your hysteroscopy or biopsy done ASAP, if only to put your mind at rest.

Remember that worrying won't change anything other than make you feel worse, but please chase them up to say you are not happy with what they have told you.

Please keep us informed and I wish you well  xx

Hi Nan7.

Thanks for your kind words. I'll probably wait and see what happens next week. Hopefully I'll know more then.

Thanks again. 

Hi jane2511.

Thank you (again) for your reply. 

I'm due to start back at work tomorrow morning and I just can't imagine having the emotional strength to force myself there. While my line manager has been understanding, it's a very male dominated environment plus I've only recently been promoted, so my anxiety is constant. This health scare has heightened the anxiety to the point where I'm shaky and nauseous and just want to hide from the world. 

I'm not usually like this and I'm so worried people will think I'm just at it.

Sorry to whine, especially because I know what you and others have been through. I feel like those closest to me don't understand my fears.

Health scares can make for a very challenging and worrying time and can consume your life. After my initial diagnosis I already had a couple of short trips arranged which, as I was feeling physically well, I went on and enjoyed. I know everyone is different but I felt emotionally better when I had something or someone to distract me. I didn't want people feeling sorry for me or fussing round me, I simply wanted them to treat me as normal. I'm sure your employer would understand if you didn't feel up to going in to work or would support you if you felt you could. I've never used it but there is a Macmillan Support Line - see Jane2511 post above for details. They will understand what you are going through and they may be able to give you some reassurance. Take care. x

It is not whining at all. You are going through a very worrying time and it is totally natural to feel all over the place. I know I did.

It is only a suggestion but if you really feel that you can not cope yet with work maybe you could speak to your GP about having some time off while you are feeling so anxious? I am sure your GP would understand. Maybe you could speak with your line manager and explain that you are feeling really anxious? 

I understand with it being a male dominated environment and having just been promoted. However just because it is male dominated it doesn't mean that they wouldn't understand and they don't need to know details- maybe just that you were having some medical issues and are very worried?  I was lucky in that my work environment was very supportive. The people I worked with were friends as well as colleagues. Everyone knew to some extent and I was given a lot of support which enabled me to carry on going in until I had my surgery. 

Jane