The things people say about cancer (that don’t help)

Sistermoon, I do wonder if it’s down to people not wanting to think about mortality, and that they say these things out of fear, to avoid thinking about the realities of it and avoid facing it head on (like we have to). If they connected with our reality, they might have to think about theirs. 

I think you're right Marmite. I also wonder if it's an age thing as well. The social norms were different then and it wasn't the done thing to speak about death. A lovely therapist at our local Macmillan centre also told me that years ago cancer was associated with being dirty and unclean. I wonder how they came up with that one?!

A x

Hi Marmitefan59 and everyone,

Yep, got quite a few of the same comments.

3 years on I can smile at them. One friend I told said nothing and I haven't heard from her again!

Best was my sister who I had supported through all her cancer treatment a few years earlier. I waited till I had the diagnosis, we were having an indian takeaway at her place. Her reaction - she was angry with me for telling her before we had eaten as she thought it would put her off her meal! 

Love to all.

Hovehoney 

I was asked yesterday by my neighbour about how things were going, I told her I’d just had my 3rd chemo treatment and my recent scans have shown cancer is still localised. Her response was “ think yourself lucky, those people on the titan sub are probably already dead “ 

Hi, I think it is something to do with age as well. I get a more positive response from younger people than I do from older people and I think it’s to do with the stigma of the C word. We never talked about it or see it advertised because it was always associated with imminent death but science has moved on so much and now it’s seen as not dying of cancer but living with it which in my head allows me to be more positive. I’ve just completed my3/6 treatment cycles and everyone I meet in the unit are always so positive. 

Thing is... the people on the Titan CHOSE to get into that submarine.

Exactly and I was tempted to say that but I’m learning not to risk getting upset by someone else’s opinion.. and she’s a practice nurse at one of our local GP surgeries 

Oh my goodness!

I told a person close to me who suffers from a chronic disease but has a good quality of life. She said " Oh well at least you can be cured, I will never get well". Speechless!

As helpful as people try to be,the safest and most comfortable place I feel at the moment is in the chemotherapy unit during my 5 hours of treatment where we can talk freely about our experiences, hopes , fears and what has made us laugh and keep going x