I’m a bit lost

Hi CrazyCatWoman , i am sorry to hear about what you have been experiencing. I understand the possibility of some anxiety over your check up, i think we all do and especially the 5 year one where in most cases we are discharged from their care. Although i am over the 5 year mark and discharged from the hospital i had my surgery they have given me the option to phone them is i have any concerns. I would recommend asking for that option if they are about to discharge you, this is obviously dependent on your individual circumstances. It sounds like you have had a lot to deal with too with all the other procedures, i know my situation is different but i wanted to let you know someone is listening and one thing i learnt from my own experiences is looking after our mental health is important, its good you have seeked help from your Doctors and thats good, I actually seeked some help because of some the issues i am personally dealing with including cardio issues and kidney issues and a few other things the new doctor i am seeing over that has been great and its so important to have trust about these things even over the issues i have with my head and getting painful sores and so many doctors reckon its stress, the issue i have is no one really knows what to say or do about other then treating it as it gets infected. Stress is both physical and mental so it’s important to learn which is the cause it’s difficult one for me i admit, it’s frustrating and it’s understandable to want answers. You having issues with your bowel and bladder and the countless other procedures all takes a toll on our wellbeing. I would definitely mention all this at your check up as they maybe able to put you in contact with someone locally who can help and you could of course contact the Macmillan support line as they may also be able to point you in the right direction. For me one think i like to do to support my wellbeing is walks in the park and feeding the ducks, over the years they have become comfortable with me and often come running over to me as I arrive very funny really but its just a small thing but it helps. We all have our own coping mechanisms and its a matter of finding what helps you.

good luck on Wednesday and sending gentle bear hugs

Hi CrazyCatWoman,

I don't answer many questions these days because I am nearly six years since since I had the operation. Fortunately I was early stage and didn't need more treatment. I was 'signed ' off after one year, and put onto a patient led system where I had no more checks ups, but to call them if I had problems. I well remember feeling totally lost in that I had a kind of safety blanket with the check ups and that was suddenly whisked from me!  I can tell you that it takes time to forget the fear of recurrence, and to trust in your body again.

My solution is to grab every opportunity of enjoying yourself and to keep busy. I think time will help. Good luck.

Hi CrazyCatWoman I am a very anxious person myself and have panic attacks so fully sympathise with you.  I have lots going on in my life (as I know many do) including dealing with my cancer.  I needed radiotherapy and brachytherapy too and I do also have ongoing bowel and bladder problems although I haven't gone down the route of having investigations, although I have told my Oncologist so she is aware.  I had my 5 year check up in November and was given the option of continuing with annual check ups with examinations which I decided to agree to for my peace of mind - even though I hate them!  

I hope your check up today went well and you were reassured and can feel less anxious and look forward to good things.

Hugs, Lesley xx

Hallo Joyce, have you ever mentioned to your CNS about how you’ve been feeling? There’s usually life after cancer courses and counselling available which you may find hit the spot much better than meds.