I live at home with my Mum and Dad who are 85 and nearly 86. I apologise for the long post! I have also posted this in the friends and family group . This is my first post for either group!
My Mum was diagnosed with Womb Cancer last July (2021) when she was 84 after some months of post menopausal bleeding and a large mass which she expelled in June and had a full hysterectomy and everything removed in a surgery in September 2021. At the MDT meeting in October they staged and graded her cancer as 3C2 and also said that in a follow up consultation in November that some cells were on her bowel lining and in the sigmoid rectum and that they may have done a bowel resection alongside her hysterectomy surgery but as this was major surgery and not in her best interest they did not go ahead.
She had 5 out of 6 cycles of chemotherapy (Carboplatin) every three weeks from December and had another CT scan on 25th February. She saw the oncologist on 12th March who said that the scan showed the cancer cells had now spread into the womb area and around the bowel area (not in the bowel). We were told that the chemotherapy had not worked to clear the cells and the cancer had grown anyway. The oncologist prescribed Letrozole hormone tablets to help shrink the cancer cells. My Mum also had a blood transfusion of 2 units of blood.
In the last three weeks or so my Mum has not been eating much and had not been able to go to the toilet and there had been some blood.
We has started to have discussions about the Community Pallative Care Team and a referral was being made last week. My Mum had a bloated tummy in the last few days and had been feeling nauseous. She had a consultation appointment with her oncologist on Tuesday this week and they had said they thought that was a sign that the cancer may have spread and could be fluid and was saying about an ultrasound scan.
Fast forward to yesterday and my Mum is vomiting up what looks like dark liquid and continues being sick. We take her into the acute oncology ward and after a scan and putting her on drips for anti sickness and then antibiotics they say she has a bowel obstruction at both ends of the small and large bowel and that is why she is blocked and is going to need major surgery - and maybe a stoma bag to make her more comfortable so she can eat and come home or not fo the surgery and then it is maybe a poor outlook. She has a NG tube and a catheter and she looks so poorly.
We are currently waiting for the surgical team to call us so we can go to the hospital and they tell us because they were having a meeting. I am so worried for my Dad who is nearly 86 and the rest of my family! I am not ready to lose my Mum yet.
Hello and welcome to the group. I'm so sorry to read about your Mum's situation. She's in the right hands and it seems her team are doing their best to do whatever they can to make her comfortable. We here on the forum are patients, not medically trained, therefore unable to offer any practical nor medical advice I'm sorry to say.
None of us are ever ready to lose our Mums and the effect it will have on our Dads (and vice versa) so I feel your anguish and worry. I hope the surgical team calls you quickly so you can get to the hospital to visit.
You might call the nurses on the Macmillan Support helpline, freephone number shown below, they might be able to offer some help but I do think your Mum's team are best placed to tell you what is going on. Only they can assess her fitness for surgery.
Sending you hugs at this hard time, Barb xx
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Sorry to hear your experience, you are doing all you can to support both your parents and that’s the best anyone can do. Keep asking questions and doing what you’re doing x
Thank you for your reply Galanthophile, I hope you are doing OK. Since writing my original post things changed quite rapidly and my Mum was in hospital for 9 days then was moved to a local hospice where she spent 12 days. She sadly died on Tuesday 3rd May surrounded by most of the family.
I have been supporting my Dad throughout all the organising and arranging and her funeral and celebration of life will take place on 31st May.
I hope your treatment continues to go well. Xx
Ah Piglet I’m so sorry for your loss. What a devastating time you’ve had. All I can say is that I lost both my parents before I was 40 but I still remember the awful grief. I’m sure your Mum will have had a full and loving life. It is a life changing experience for you though. Cherish your Dad. Hope you get through the funeral ok x
So sorry for your sad loss, I hope the funeral goes well and your dad stays strong knowing he has you by his side. X
Thank you so much for your kind words. My Mum did have a full and loving life and so many people want to come to her funeral. I have two brothers and two sisters plus other family and we are all taking a role in celebrating my Mum's life.
I think the difference will be after the funeral as I am the one who lives at home with my Dad and I think it is then it will be more real!
Thinking of you and I’m so sorry. Piglet - dad is lucky to have a daughter like you and to have you so close to him. I get extremely upset when I think about something happening to my mum because I worry about my dad… be there for him and cherish him. Look after yourself too. Lots of love xxxxx
Thank you Lucki. As I said I am the daughter who is in the house with my Dad but I should point out I am 51! Ihave my brothers and sisters and we are all quite a close knit family and support each other.
Be there for your Mum. I am sure she appreciates and loves everything you do. Look after your Dad and yourself. Give each other some space. It can feel anxious but there is a lot of support out there. Friends and family can be a great support for a change of scene. Sending lots of good wishes your way x
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