Night time struggles

Hi cbwc,

yes, I suffer from long term anxiety, so now it really is going through the roof. I spoke to my GP and said I’m struggling at night, and if I don’t sleep, it just makes the day so much worse. They prescribed short term diazepam, and they are definitely helping me. I wake up early, or earlier than I used to, but it takes away that foreboding feeling and allows me to rest. The mind is our worst enemy, mines like a washing machine on fast spin constantly! I know medication isn’t always our choice, but I think I need it at the minute to get me through until any coping structure comes back into my life. I spoke to the holistic wellbeing nurses when I went to the Macmillan unit to see my consultant, and they keep saying to look for things I enjoy, and see positivity, but to be honest it’s really difficult when you’re trying to look for it through the thickest fog of worry. I am now 2 weeks after diagnosis, and it feels more real now, at first I felt like everyone was speaking about someone else, or I was above looking down at me!- so odd. I still do feel somewhat like that, but it’s just a case of acceptance, and it’s a tough thing for anyone to accept, so don’t be too tough on yourself. Sending lots of love, and hope you have a less tormented night tonight, and maybe have a word with your Gp to see what they recommend for you? Love Emm xx

Thanks Emm. Sorry you're going through it too. Thank you for your advice. xxx

Hello cbwc, i am sorry your struggling with the night times since your diagnosis. The thing with night time when we are hoping to sleep our minds can go into overdrive with all the what ifs because of sub con mind takes over, and of course this makes sleeping even more difficult. I do struggle with sleeping at times because of pain but also i do struggle sometimes with my mental health as chronic illness has started to take its toll and the stress of losing friends who have passed away over the last couple of years hasn’t helped, for me it’s frustration and fear too and also losing trust in our body. A friend is a mental health wellbeing coach and she’s been giving me ways to cope and ways in general that helps people with their mental health. Like talking it all thought our worries etc well this is where you can do this safely and also knowing that there are people who understand. There is various sleep apps with meditation or relaxing music i use my kindle sometimes or my echo dot but I know you can probably get some on various other devices. Because of the pain i am on some strong pain relief which can knock me out but I don’t always get the restful night sleep i need and then ironically i get fatigue which then makes me want to lie down even if I cannot sleep. You have only just got your diagnosis which is a lotto take on and it can take time for your mind to adjust to what is happening, i was lucky I suppose i had a preplanned holiday that my consultant let me go and that kept me pretty occupied during the day but at night was difficult but I did chat to people about what had happened and that i was shell shocked by it and i was overwhelmed by the love and support and the fact that despite them being on their holiday they were prepared to seat down and listen. You know I think that is really important just to know someone is listening and having that sounding board. Of course as Emmpea mentioned that i am sure if you spoke to your Gp they maybe able to prescribe something just to help you relax the mind and get some restful sleep. We all here how distraction can really help and many turn to hobbies both new and old. I got into arts and crafts because I joined a group at the local hospice which really helped me to deal with everything that was happening and I have continued to do my art, when i can concentrate but i have just joined some pastel tutorials to help improve my technique. 

This was one of my recent ones where i used sand dunes as a reminder of how much i love walking through the sand dunes to the beach. There is some who like to knit, read. But it just helps focus the mind off the diagnosis and allows you some time for your body to rest.  Like anything something’s work better for different people but it may be of some help to you.

For now i wish you some rest and hopefully some sleep soon and wanted to send you a gentle bear hug  

Bless you Gbear, thank you. Your art is beautiful xx

Hi cbwc

I am 2 months since diagnosis and I remember my initial feelings being despair, fear and total panic. The night ones were definitely the worst and I still have some bad nights and occasional nightmares. I had made the decision after diagnosis to try CBD oil as at that point I would’ve done anything to try to stop the imagined spread, I am a grade 3/stage 1b,  and it did help with sleep. Since my surgery 6 weeks ago I have taken nothing and am focussing on compartmentalising my life and putting my illness in a separate box from everything else. I remember someone saying that to me at the beginning and thinking it was impossible but most days I manage to do just that. I am fortunate that I feel well and always have with no other health conditions so I’m able to get out walking most days which I fell helps me and tires me out, also practice relaxation techniques. I start my treatment next week and know I’m not going to feel my best but it has to be done to try to stop recurrence. So although I’m starting to feel panicky and like I can’t do this I will be there and see it through.

I personally think there will be times throughout our journey when we will think we can’t cope but I know we can and will do this

Take care

Kate xx

Thank you Kate. I will try the oil for sure.  So sorry to hear what you are going through. Good luck with treatment xxxxx

Heres a thread you may find relaxing to look https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/womb-cancer-forum/f/womb-cancer-forum/158742/the-womb-girls-arts-and-crafts?pifragment-13906=55#1500270 its got many different arts and crafts tgat people have found helpful to them cbwc

Hi I was the same at night time wake up with hot flushes fast beating heart feeling sick and that is only if I could sleep! But now nearly a year on I sleep good now and again I still have a little wobble but that’s expected. Good luck try some more exercise per day or anything that’s will make u tired that could help too xxx

Hi cbwc,

The thing that seemed to help me get to sleep was my mp3 player.  I made sure it was fully charged and just put the headphones on.  Whether it was me singing along in my head or just the distraction of the noise I'm not sure but it at least allowed me to get some sleep. I  would still wake up but usually managed get more sleep than when I didn't use it.

Best wishes to you,

Amyycdi x

Thank you, good advice. How are you feeling? xx