I don't want to bore everyone with my list of ailments but it suddenly hit me tonight as I was watching TV that I just want a normal life. I was diagnosed out of the blue in 2018 with cirrhosis of the liver. A bit surprising as I've never really drank alcohol. It has had a huge impact on my life as I am monitored constantly for bleeds in my oesophagus and stomach and 6 monthly scans on my liver in case it develops cancer. Oh the irony! I was told when I was first diagnosed that my lifespan would be shortened. I was admitted to hospital last year with bleeds from ulcers and varices 8 times between September and boxing Day. I was in for 20+ days obviously with no visitors the longest stretch was 9 days. I had 8 endoscopies with treatment for the bleeding and was on iv drugs for 9 days. I've had bleeds since but haven't gone to the hospital as I can't face it. Unfortunately last year because of covid, patients were just put on any ward as the hospital was packed. This meant that inevitably there were many patients with dementia on the wards which didn't make for a restful sleep. I actually discharged myself at Christmas as there were no doctors around and I was left for two days nil by mouth with no fluids prescribed. I've had several previous surgeries and just got on with it but having cancer is just overwhelming. My family and friends are all wonderful and keep in touch regularly but sometimes I think they must think oh for heaven's sake, what's wrong with her now?!
I apologise for my pity party and promise to buck up my ideas. Have a great weekend everyone. Deb
Hi Deborino. I felt so sad when I read your post and what you've had to go through before you found yourself here on this forum. You've certainly had a really tough time and have every right to feel hacked off.
The good thing about being on here is we can totally understand when you have a down day. My family and friends mostly seem to veer away from talking about my cancer. In fact I told my stepson I'd forgotten to turn my phone back on after my Oncologist Appointment and he didn't even ask how it'd gone. If I talk about it to my hubby he thinks I'm a drama queen. Some friends smother you, others can't talk about it, Especially the one's who haven't had children and are starting or in their menopause.
We're here for you
Sending you hugs, Barb xx 
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