Did that happen to me ???

Hi Xxnatalie, I know exactly what you mean. I think it is our way of dealing with something that was very traumatic. When I got my diagnosis it was so unexpected it shocked me rigid. I just sat gaping at the doc. Those first few weeks were so awful, I was so anxious, yet also couldn’t believe what I’d been told. Then I sort of thought, well, I  have to get through this, no-one else can really help, I’ll do whatever it takes. Now it all seems so long ago, but it’s only 6 months. I still get niggly little worries, has it really gone?, did they get it all? etc, but they are less often now. I was so lucky to have my treatment quickly and to recover so well from the op. It’s like a bad dream that is fading into the past. Now we have to make the most of life! Take care of yourself,

Viv x

Hi I do know what you mean. It is about 3 and a half years since I had diagnosis and treatment (surgery). For a while I was aware that some friends and acquaintances thought of me as She's The One Who Had Cancer but now it is rarely mentioned. The reward for recovering is that everyone forgets you were ever ill in the first place! My operation scars healed and faded really quickly so I don't have that visual reminder when I am undressed either. Sometimes I think I would like a certificate or something. One positive thing I have noticed though, is that if I say I am ill or in pain nowadays (e.g. a headache), people do believe me unquestioningly.

Hi Xxnataliexx & Viv

I frequently think to myself did it really happen to me but the fading scars on my tummy confirm it did. I try not to think along the lines of did those few malignant cells escape? You'll do yourself in. At the age of 67 years and 363 days life's too short to worry about things you have no control over! This time last year I had absolutely no idea I had a hitchhiker inside me!

If it's good to know our cancer is very treatable whereas what I read on other forums frequently reduces me to tears. Take comfort in that.

Big hugs to all Barb xx 

Hi sorry for the late reply ( the bingo is back open and I have escaped for the night lol) hope you are all well wishing you all the best xxx

The answer is a definite yes Xxnataliexx, I often feel a bit shell shocked and think did all that just happen to me? I think it’s normal to have these thoughts I suppose its our minds way of dealing with everything. I certainly look to keeping myself well and not ignoring things as its probably nothing as I did before. Apart from kidney problems prior to getting cancer i was relatively healthy and I believe that helped get me though it, my hysterectomy scar really healed really well helped by the fact i have a nice neat scar that had me giggling to myself for ages as other Doctors were so engrossed with my lovely neat scar I did start saying have you never seen a scar before, again gallows humour. I think we all have our own coping mechanism but the important thing is having the right support and this really helps with all the doubts. One positive that has come ironically from having cancer is the fact I started art therapy and i loved it so much I carried it on and still doing it years later, i was so grateful that the local hospice did arts and crafts group as they found it was great therapy and for me it was my awakening, still loads to learn and i am getting better at it  but I wouldn’t be doing art now had it not been for an unfortunate moment in my life.  So there is positive stories out there.

sending everyone a gentle big bear hug  

Hi it’s a strange situation to be in and unless you have Bein there people don’t understand. You are is amazing so talented xxx

Sorry art is amazing 

Hi, Xxnataliexx

i vividly remember an almost “out of body” experience when I was told. I work in the NHS and I was supposed to be the one helping other people - it wasn’t supposed to happen to me!!

I think it’s also normal to look back and feel a bit strange afterwards. First, you have to adjust to having cancer and then, quite suddenly if you only have surgery, you’re supposed to be OK again. And you will get your head round it all, but I suspect it takes most of us quite a while.

My op was in 2018, but I still sometimes have confusing thoughts about it all. I think that’s perfectly normal.

Hugs