Hello,
I have basically gone my entire adult life with not having periods or only once a year. When I was in my early 20s Drs told me I probably had PCOS and that was it.
In October I started having a period and it has basically never stopped. After 9 weeks of bleeding I went to the Drs to get help and in February got my diagnosis.
Some of you may think I’m crazy for thinking about this, especially so early on in my journey (and during COVID) when I clearly have bigger things going on, but I’m single and I’m worried about navigating cancer, dating and sex.
I know there is no rule book on how to do things and everyone will find what is right for them but where did people start? Did you tell people prior to meeting them, “FYI I have cancer”, on the first, second, third date? When you were about to have sex, or never?
I started bleeding during sex which was not particularly, well... sexy or the best of things to happen and now I’m worried that every time I have sex I’m going to bleed. I know I can’t control it and if someone freaks out about it then maybe they aren’t the best person to be around, but do you think you should give someone the heads up?
My friends have such different opinions - which are great to hear and I love their support and enthusiasm for my dating life but, what’s the reality of the situation? I don’t want to be scared of something that should be enjoyable in life.
Has anyone been on a date, told them about your cancer and they freaked out or didn’t at all and that freaked you out?! Should we be using this as an opportunity to educate people and tell the reality of the situation more?
I’ve never had body confidence and at the end of last year I was really starting to gain some. Now it’s all vanished again and I don’t want this to become another hold back for me in life.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts in advance. I’m very aware dating, relationships and sex are very personal things.
Bunns xxx
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond 
Hi . Welcome to our little corner of the Online Community. We've got a lovely group of supportive ladies either at the start, in the middle or the end of their cancer journey
You've certainly given us something to think about. I'm in my late 60's, post menopausal so I confess my diagnosis hit me like a freight train and I've never really given a lot of thought to the impact on ladies in the throes of dating.
You don't actually say where you are in your cancer journey. When you have a minute, it would be helpful if you could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. (It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.) To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can update it at any time and if you're not sure what you should write have a quick look at mine by clicking on my username.
It's very strange the way people react when you tell them you have cancer. Some go to pieces and gush over you. I've read before one ladies friend said she couldn't cope with the stress of her having cancer and basically backed off and out of her friendship! My own hubby of over 40years (with the empathy of a plank) almost shrugged his shoulders and said "Oh Well"
If you want to ask any of us any questions please come back and do so. There's always someone around and we can offer a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or listen to a rant, we’re here for you.
It might also be a good idea to download this booklet Understanding Womb (Endometrial) Cancer I found it invaluable in my journey.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. It's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week. Have a look to see what is available by Clicking here .
There is also an Ask an Expert section, but you should allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
Sending you welcoming hugs, B xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
