End of Treatment

Hi Just65,

I can't remember what treatment you had, but I think because its called 'treatment' people feel they should be over it quickly, in fact, once it has finished. I only know this isn't true because we could see the effects of the radiotherapy that my husband had. A year after his radiotherapy they decided it had damaged his larynx, and he had to have that removed. It took a further year and half for his neck to heal up fully. They said it was poor healing due to radiotherapy.

So, although you may be relieved, you can't see what healing is going on inside still. I think it takes time to get back to what you were. Just be content with yourself meanwhile and enjoy each moment. Do what you can, and leave the rest. xxxxxx

Hi NannyAnny

I had a total Hysterectomy last April then six weeks recovery followed by Chemo, every three weeks ( 6 courses) then pelvic radiotherapy 5 days a week for 5 weeks & then two Internal Brachytherapy. So start to finish it was approx 9 months of hospital visits which is why I wondered about expecting too much in such a short time.

Hope your husband is doing good now & thank-you for your advice.

Love & Hugs

Hi I do know what you mean.  I didn't have chemo, but had surgery then 25 sessions of external radiotherapy followed by 2 brachytherapys and then when it all came to an end I felt a bit like I had been cut adrift without the safety net of being at the hospital all the time.  I completed treatment over 2 years ago and am still suffering side effects/damage I believe from the radiotherapy which is a constant reminder of what I've been through and the thought and fear that it could come back never leaves me however much I try.  Like some others I have a very stressful family situation on a daily basis and have several other non cancer related health problems and find it very hard to be positive and move on. However I think the tiredness you are experiencing is normal for everyone who has had the full range of treatments you had and 3 weeks is still very early days for your body to recover so be kind to yourself and take it easy and I am sure you will get there in time. 

Hugs, Lesley xx

Hi Poppysmum27,

Thank-you so much for your advice, yes you are right it does feel like being cut adrift & I obviously expected too much in the 3 weeks since treatment stopped and you are right about side effects & so on as you cannot see what has happened inside your body.

The last Brachy I had the radiographer said to me keep in mind "your body has taken a right bashing" & she was right & you have confirmed this, so thank you so much. As I said I just feel a bit like a fish out of water & never having gone through this before it's a massive learning curve & it seems like I need to be a bit more patient with myself. I am expecting a call from the Brachy team at Cheltenham on the 19th Feb & then back to see my Oncologist on the 26th Feb, so maybe that will help.

You are correct the Fear of it coming back will always be in the back of my mind, but I decided this does not get to "Define Me" otherwise there would have been no point going through all of this in the first place & feeling tired & having little motivation is probably all part of it.

Thank you for your support, I would be totally lost if it were not for all you lovely people on this site !!

Love & Hugs xx

Hi @just65,  

During the 5 weeks I was having radiotherapy , I imagined that I would feel elated when it was over.   In fact when I walked out of the department on the last day I felt nothing.  Even though I had various theatre trips to look forward I just felt flat.   

It was almost as though I missed the daily routine of going to London.   I certainly missed the company of my fellow patients as we chatted while downing our 4 glasses of water  - after all we were all in the same boat and had a common bond. . Once it was over everyone expected me to be back to normal.and didn't want to know about my cancer but I realise now that I was still coming to terms with my diagnosis and only just becoming able to mention it to other people. 

.During treatment I think I resisted the tiredness , there didn't seem to be time for it and it certainly caught up with me over the following months,  Also  it took time for the physical effects of the treatment to abate. 

So yes, perhaps you are expecting too much but you should pat yourself on the back for doing so well.  Be kind to yourself .  Save your physical and mental energy to do the things you love with the people you love.  Don't waste it on the boring things and ignore those people who say things that annoy you ! 

Hi just 65. Yes in short you are expecting far too much too soon. I was the same. I thought that's it on with the rest of my life now, mmmm  didn't quite work out that way, and I became disappointed with myself because my energy levels were so low.  I had exactly the same treatment as you and boy does your body take a battering ? Yes it does.  A harsh regime was what the RT  team called it. Give yourself time, a nice treat with your husband but just do what you are able and leave the rest. Give your body and mind time to recover from the trauma that it has been through. 

Take care xx

Hi oldady

thank you for your reply,

I felt great walking out of the hospital after my last treatment, it was only a few days later I  started feeling a bit "lost" not the routine I had been used to perhaps. I am very lucky to have had such a wide range of medical staff who took such good care of me at the time & that was my Safe place.

Back to reality is a bit different though! but I have wonderful friends & family who have been here every step of the way & yes you are correct do not waste time or suffer fools either.

Thank you so much for your support

Love & Hugs xx

Hi Little Critter,

 Yes it has not quite worked out that way, but I am sure it will in time.

Thank you for your support

Love & Hugs xx

Hi Just65,

I didn't realise you had the whole works! No wonder you are still tired! I think chemo in itself is a marathon (nursed my daughter through that for breast cancer). I think my husband took a about a year to get over his two operations, and radiotherapy. His eating was affected, so he lost a lot of weight. He began to get less tired as his weight crept up (I had a chart!!)

We just took each day as it came. If he felt like walking in the countryside, we did. If he needed to rest, I did housework, or visited my friend. That was 13 years ago now, so well worth the struggle at the time!! I've lost a couple of friends to cancer who, I think, pushed themselves too hard. It was as if they were trying to prove themselves. I think you are better off going at your own speed, listening to your body and taking it slowly, resting when necessary. Don't worry about it. Your body has had a bashing.

I felt lost when we didn't have hospital anymore for him. We were suddenly on our own! But you will get used to it, and eventually not think about it. xxxx

Hi , I think your being a bit harsh on yourself. You have gone though a very grueling treatment and it really can take it out on you. Although I didn't have the same treatment I know I was very much a fish out of water at first and exhausted by it all. Its fantastic news that you have completed treatment and I am happy you have more time now to spend with your husband. I think the tiredness should reduce as time goes by and your motivation, just do little things at first perhaps a nice short walk together if you manage to get nice weather in between the storms. I find meditation very good too some mindfulness exercises to just say its OK to not be OK at the moment but I am not going to rush my body to do things its not ready for yet. You will get there, it doesn't have to be today sort of speak. Be kind and gentle on yourself and again well done in finishing treatment long may you feel better very soon.

Sending you a big hug