Treatment for my wife

Hello, I'm afraid I can't help with your specific questions as my own circumstances were different, but I'm sure some of the other ladies will be along soon who can be of more help. I just wanted to say hello and that I'm glad you've found us here. I've always found this a supportive safe place where people are more than happy to share their experiences and offer virtual support. In my experience the best thing you can do for your wife is what you are already doing, being there as a practical and emotional support. I'd also add though, it's a shocking and stressful time for you too, so don't be afraid to talk to the medical people about your own worries and be accept help and support from family and friends if it's offered. I know a lot of people find it hard to know what to say when they hear this sort of news, but if you can find someone to talk freely with, perhaps even say the things you don't want to to your wife it may help.

Thank you so much for your reply. It's great to know there will be other people who understand and share worries with. I just want to do my best for her and I am sure this will help. 

Hi ForAlice,

Sorry you find yourself here and in those circumstances.

I can't answer some of your questions, but have a few thoughts. I think chemotherapy could well shrink the cancer, but I think peoples bodies react differently, and until they start treatment they won't know the likelihood of this.

I'd be wary of her taking Cocodomol. My husband took this when he had throat cancer, and we had a horrific weekend with him severely constipated. That in itself can cause pain which she could do without. I'm sure any doctor could give her an alternative.

Having been a carer myself, I know what a strain that can be. I had to 'escape' once a week, just to do something normal for my own sanity. It helped!

Accept any help off anyone. even if its someone to sit with your wife while you get a breather. And don't be afraid to ask questions at the hospital. We've learnt ' If you don't ask, you don't get'.

I wish you both all the best xx

Thank you that's very kind of you and good information to know. 

What puzzles me is why they don't carry out a hysterectomy anyway to remove where the source of the cancer is then apply chemo. I guess these are the questions we now need to ask as we start to get our heads around the initial shock. 

Many thanks 

Hi,

I'm only guessing that they may be scared of cells escaping, and making matters worse. I've learnt quite a lot about cancer since my husband had his 14 years ago! In his case they operated, then he had radiotherapy. In my daughters case (breast cancer) she had an operation, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I was lucky and just needed a hysterectomy. It all depends what's wrong, and what they can do about it.

Write your questions down so you don't forget them. I remember the week or two after my husband was diagnosed. Neither of us could concentrate, and we kept forgetting what we were doing. It was awful, but it will pass. 

Hi,

Thank you that makes sense. 

You and your family have certainly been through a lot and I appreciate your very helpful reply. 

Best wishes 

So sorry to hear about your Mother.  I think one of the aims of the chemo will be to shrink the tumour that is pressing on the bowel and causing constipation which should reduce the pain she is experiencing.   It would probably also make any surgery easier. 

Thank you - it is my wife but don't worry. 

Hopefully as you say the chemo will shrink it and if that does reduce the pain that's at least one good thing. It seems they have ruled out surgery altogether though.

Many thanks for your reply 

Best wishes 

HI , sorry about that, don't know why I said it - must have been a bit of a senior moment!

Apologies and love to you both. 

No problem at all! And thanks again