Hi Bumblebee girl I suffered with depression anxiety. The doctor prescribed anti depressants and arranged counseling for me - living after cancer. I did get something out of it and I found the recommended strategies dealing with uncertainty and the change to your life after treatment. I was sent for counseling early after my treatment however at that time they thought 'counseling' would not help me as they thought I had post traumatic stress. I am feeling much better despite my bumpy cancer journey. Dawn x
Yes I had those, I was crying, frightened, I lost my hair because my stress levels were so high. I met some really brave and lovely people on the counceling course and talking through our experiences really helped. I recurred 6 month after my hysterectomy so what I was frightened about happened so now it's try to live my life normally until my next check up when I do have the demons coming back, but giving myself some respite from cancer is helping me with my most stressful times. Xxc
I can sympathise with you as I feel like I’m sinking at the moment. Don’t want to get up in the morning or leave the house and feel quite numb.
I am fortunate to live close to a nice park so I give myself a telling off and force myself to get out but it’s not for long.
I struggle to concentrate on anything other than my own fears but find that if I persevere and get into something I can distract myself. That makes me feel a lot better.
Sleep is difficult and I’m having nightmares and generally feeling sorry for myself but I hope it will pass and it’s just a matter of time.
Since around mid December (my diagnosis was in mid September and my hysterectomy in late October) I have found myself struggling with depression and anxiety, with many of the same symptoms mentioned already - insomnia, not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings and face the day, difficulty concentrating (I read but find myself just turning the pages and not really taking anything in) and just generally walking around feeling numb and sort of cut off from everybody and everything. I'm not wanting to see friends but at the same time feeling lonely and isolated, and I know that's counter-productive but I just don't want to be around people.
However, I think the cancer diagnosis and surgery are only one contributory factor in my case. We lost my sister in a tragic accident last June, and just before Christmas my 95 year old aunt was found collapsed at home and has been in hospital ever since. There are family tensions because my sister provided a lot of support for our aunt, I live in another country so cannot practically do much so a lot of stress has fallen on my brother who has a very demanding job anyway. He is being great about it but my sister's family are unhappy and feel I am not doing enough. Made worse because as I am still recovering from the hysterectomy I wasn't able to immediately fly over and help with the initial crisis involving our aunt. So I am sitting here feeling guilty for effectively doing nothing whilst brother is run off his feet. Sister's husband is making claims that his sons should receive a larger share of our aunt's estate (and this before she is even dead!!!) because my sister did more for her than my brother or I, I have told my brother that I want none of my aunt's money and want my share to go to him instead, although if she goes into a care home her house will need to be sold and there could well be practically no money left for anybody to squabble over anyway.
I've also found it impossible to find travel insurance which will cover my pre-existing conditions (had heart valve repair surgery in 2018 and high cholesterol as well as the cancer diagnosis) so I can't plan any trips at the moment which would give me somethiing to look forward to. As my sister was killed whilst on holiday abroad and they hadn't taken out travel insurance, I know only too well the problems that can cause so I couldn't contemplate travelling without it, although I can risk coming to the UK because I can get NHS treatment there (legally) because I hold an S1 form. I know there are companies in the UK which specialise in insuring pre-existing conditions (at a price) but they only cover UK residents so that avenue is not open to me.
I've considered counselling but am sceptical as to whether it would help as the reasons for my depression and anxiety are only too clear and any amount of talking about it wouldn't make them go away. I am hoping that as I am gradually able to get back to exercising more and more that will help me. I have some anti-anxiety medication my doctor prescribed for me just after my sister's death, I took less than half of the tablets and they did help short term but I don't want to risk becoming dependent on them. I take one now and again if I've had a particularly bad spell of sleeplessness and it does help to get a better night's sleep occasionally. I'm also thinking of trying St John's Wort as that did help me at a time when I was experiencing a lot of work-related stress at the same time as my mother was very ill, years ago.
As Christmas2019 said, I am hoping that time will help and the feelings will pass. I do try to give myself a good telling off, because I know that so many people have to struggle with much worse things than I do, health-related or otherwise.
Hi All, this cancer journey is hard, I'm 16 month on and despite the ' the bump' in my recovery road it does get easier, life will never be the same again but our journey becomes our normal. I would recommend to not trying to deal with this alone, speak to your CNS, go to the support centres in your locality. I use to get really resentful when my CNS said go live your life, but to be honest she is right. The under lying reasons for this depression for me was the cancer and the fear of it and the uncertainty of not knowing if it will come back. I was told by a survivor that her oncologist said that we let this disease affect us so that we don't enjoy our life because, for lots of us, the worry of it coming back and he said it may or may not but if it does we will deal with it. I keep this in mind on my down days. Xxx
The old saying springs to mind; you can choose your friends but not your family! We certainly don’t deserve to feel guilty about not having the ability or energy to pick other people up.
My lot don’t know about my cancer diagnosis and I find their squabbling and fighting petty and ridiculous. I wonder how they would cope with the life and death situation we find ourselves facing.
No one can truly understand what those of us fighting cancer are going through unless they’ve experienced it first hand. Even my wonderful supportive husband (who does know) comes out with the most ridiculous claptrap at times!
Is it any wonder we get depressed?What I have found helps is a good laugh if you can find one. I dragged myself to a night in with friends I really wanted to avoid (they don’t know either) and had to endure a game of Mr and Mrs. It seemed pointless to me as I’d been feeling bad all day.
It was hilarious and caused mayhem and Lifted my spirits - a welcome break from the dark clouds. I realised I hadn’t laughed properly in ages.
So that’s what I’m going to seek out and the family can get lost for a while!
I too decided not to tell my parents and limited friends who I told
i found those who I thought support me run for the hills and say call me if you need me and those who I wouldn’t have said would be we’re with gusto
my personal laughter break is watching the show that goes wrong over and over during the week I laugh my head off till I can’t breath
don’t ask my why I have this reaction but I love it
ladies we can conquer this disease and we will be ready to roar at the storm is that the best you can do .....
im post surgery and radiotherapy and about to start on the old three month check ins
I describe cancer as that annoying sibling your mums making you walk back from school it’s not in your face but it’s dragging behind you being annoying ....
