Utterly exhausted - will this ever get beter

I’ve had combined chemo/radiotherapy to the pelvis (5.3 weeks) that left me exhausted. I went back to work 3 months later and have sleeping problems where although I’m tired I find it difficult to fall asleep, then in the a.m I’m shattered & could sleep in. How you’re feeling is totally normal and maybe you returned to work a bit too soon, (although I realise you may have had to go back because of  sick pay etc). You shouldn’t feel guilty about going to bed early, your body’s been through a major trauma and needs to repair itself. My oncologist said it can take 6-12 months post-treatment to recover energy levels x

Thanks you 

I wanted to go back as I had been off for 6 months and stupidly thought it would all be fine 

I’ve changed roles at work and feel isolated and vulnerable to be honest - I don’t want to keep playing the cancer card but It just follows you everywhere 

I had my brachytherapy last February and still don’t feel recovered. I haven’t gone back to work and am expecting to be dismissed. At the last check up I had the Dr said the first year is the worst... No one prepares you for life after treatment. You have to get used to a new normal and for many of us it’s  not the person we were before the diagnosis. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover

That’s so true about not being the same person as before 

I didn’t tell my parents so have found Christmas hard as my dad has been down and haven’t had the space to be me as I normally would 

‘changing roles I thought would be good but I just feel a drift it that makes sense 

but will take your advice. Thank you 

I’m sorry your having a hard time with work 

Work were very supportive at first, I went back after 5 months on a phased return but they’d changed my role, I had 3 managers in 3 weeks and I just physically couldn’t manage it. As the sick absence went on the contact became only monthly then I was told that when I went back I would be redeployed in a different department. That’s when I decided I’d had enough.

It takes a long time to get your head around what has happened to you.

x

Hi Bumblebeegirl,

I'm wondering if you were pre menopause before your operation? That would explain some of your symptoms. Either way, it takes a long time to get over radiotherapy. You may have nothing to show outside, but its inside where the damage is repairing itself.

When my husband had radiotherapy, and an operation a year afterwards it took another year and half to heal up. I'm not saying you will be as long as that, but I still think its early days for your body to have got over everything.

I think its very easy to lose confidence in the work place. I used to stand in for teachers when they were off sick, so never knew where, of if I was working. Each time I was called to a new job it took me all my time to go! I just had to think of the money, with two children to keep.xxxxxx  

You must let work know how you’re feeling, your health is more important than anything. As I understand it, having cancer is classed as having a disability providing you with certain protections in the workplace. Perhaps speak with your local Macmillan team ( contactable through your treating hospital), for advice. Please don’t suffer in silence. X

It's a year since I finished my treatment and am only just starting to feel normal. Do you have a maggie s centre near you, mine did a "managing fatigue"workshop which I found really useful. It's so hard as you don't realise the impact it has on your life,  I was working part time and coming home and having a nap! Don't be hard on yourself, and don't try and do lots on your good days as you won't have any reserves for your had days x

Hello,

I finished my treatment end of 2018 Stage 1a Grade 3 (age 46). I'm exhausted 24/7 and still only working 5hrs a day with disability paying for the remainder 3hrs.  I tried going back full time and lasted 3 days before I hit a wall and crashed from exhaustion.  Actually today I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist for a check up and explained to her my symptoms ...she smiled at me and said "TIME" you need lots and lots of "TIME". UGH.... 

I too lost confidence at work to the point of quieting but that's not reality. So I take my time and had to learn to trust myself again.  God nobody told me this "new" way of living would be just as hard as the treatments.  

You my friend are not alone....:-) you have us.  We are all experiencing the same things.  

XOXOX 

Hi everyone. Happy New year. So glad I stumbled on this thread as I haven't been on site for a bit because  too was exhausted and feeling awful. It was almost as if  people read my mind. I am stage 1A grade 2, no radiotherapy,chemo or radiotherapy but it took around six months for my wounds to heal completely so I've been off work since May last year. Started back on phased return at beginning of December but work tried to do it over four weeks instead of six which I couldn't manage. I'm full time and back on full hours best week but utterly exhausted, depressed and now suffering panic attacks. Feel like I've got a gun permanently in my back not only from the cancer experience but now from work too as I can't keep up and targets are down. I did manage to talk to my line manager about options and it was a good experience as she was sympathetic but I feel so guilty as if I've failed and now ,after a sleepless night have got the impression that company is trying to farm me out which is most likely brain doing overtime and not the case at all! I have some time off, unused holiday, soon which I'm planning to use to sort myself out but I'm not looking forward to making decisions. As you said its just so difficult to adjust to a new lifestyle . I feel this disease has taken so much from me and get im not going through what the rest of you have had to tolerate! Take care ladies love lamb.xx