Living alone - first few days home

Hi RollercoasterRide.  I live alone too, and I had keyhole surgery (TLH and BSO) in October 2017.  I can't recall much detail about that time now but here goes...  and by the way I was very fit and agile before surgery - and after some effort I am again now.

I was in hospital for 1 night.  Surgery was lunchtime on day 1 and a friend collected me and drove me home on the evening of day 2, and she stayed overnight.  After the operation I still felt like myself although somewhat battered and bemused.  Please do tell your team in advance that you don't have facilities for someone to stay overnight, as perhaps they will arrange for a longer stay in hospital.  When my friend arrived I was able to totter along the hospital corridor and across the carpark by myself.  I had taken my stuff in a little wheelie case so no carrying required and of course she lifted it into and out of the car for me.  Have you had a general anaesthetic before?  My experience is that I am not thinking clearly for a couple of days after anaesthetic so I had left myself a note at home with important phone numbers and reminder to not make any important decisions in the early days.  When you live alone there is no-one to answer the phone and deal with bank etc on your behalf!

At my pre-op assessment, a few weeks before my surgery, I was told to not lift anything heavier than a cup of tea for 6 weeks after the op.  So I went home and listed all the things I would need help with then went into project-manager mode arranging the necessary help for: Cleaning, taking the rubbish out, changing the bedclothes, getting heavy things in and out of the washing machine and hanging them up, walking to the shop with me to carry my shopping home for me. When visitors cooked me a meal and washed up that was brilliant too.  I have a spare room so various friends came to stay for a day or two here and there and I hired a home help to help for an hour or so on some of the days I would be alone.  I often felt very tired and weak but I don't recall actually feeling ill once I was home.

Before I went into hospital I did some of those horrible strenuous jobs such as cleaning the oven, cleaning the windows (so that it wouldn't irritate me while I was unable to) and I arranged the furniture so that I had chairs and laptop in convenient places.  I took my heavy overcoat out of the wardrobe and hung it on a rail so it was easy to get to.

I hope this list helps you.  I expect others will be along to add their thoughts too.  All the planning actually helped me psychologically as I was busy thinking about practical issues rather than worrying about my operation.  I didn't have any medical issues at home so I don't know what the risks are about being alone overnight.  If in doubt ask your treatment team.

I also suggest slip-on shoes so you don't need to bend and do laces.  Wishing you all the best.

Hi LittleRunner

Thanks for your detailed response - that's really helpful.  Like you, I'm keeping busy with practical things at the moment, to avoid thinking too much about the op in a couple of weeks.   How long do you think it took you to feel back to your "fit and able" self?   It sounds as if it was quite a bit longer than just the initial recovery months.

Did you find stairs painful in the early weeks?   My flat is on the second floor so I'll have 2 sets of stairs to negotiate whenever I want to go outside for a short walk.

Thanks again for all the advice!

Hello again RR.  My flats have a lift so I didn't attempt stairs for a few days however they weren't a problem when I did do them.  The morning after I got home I was able to step into the bath to have a shower with no problem.  Perhaps you could ask your friend to be on standby the first time you try that, and also for the stairs.  Hold the handrail and always have your phone with you.  I was able to get in and out of bed OK right from the start but I had to sleep on my back for a long time because of discomfort.  I was not in severe pain but I definitely had, as they say, "pains in places I didn't know I had places." Be careful on public transport!  I got on a crowded bus a few weeks after surgery and my poor sore tummy got a real bashing from people squeezing past.

As for getting back to normal, prior to the operation I was running and cycling long distances.  If I wasn't so ambitious about my fitness I would have felt I was OK at maybe 6 months, although I was still getting episodes of fatigue then.  On the advice of my CNS I did walking-only for about 3 months, then slowly resumed my usual training regime.  I did used to get tummy pains if I overdid the running but that doesn't happen now.  I saw a specialist physio, privately (to make sure I wasn't damaging my newly-configured insides) and with her advice and special exercises I carried on with my training.  If like me you want to be back "up and at 'em", I recommend identify some walking routes where you can stop for a little rest, and always carry a phone and a snack.  I should add that I haven't been doing anything that requires strength, like gardening or training in a gym, so I can't advise on that.

Hi LittleRunner

I just wanted to say thanks for your pre-op advice and to let you know that things are going well for me since my LAVH-BSO on 14 Jan.  The stairs were no problem and, like you, I managed to step into the bath for a shower the next day.  My fitness level beforehand was not up to the standard of yours by the sounds of it (!) but I'm looking forward to resuming favourite activities of long country walks, gentle dancing and yoga in a few months time if things continue as well as they are now.   (Or unless brachytherapy is on the cards once histology results back).  Your suggestion of getting some advice privately from an experienced physio is a good one, as I got some very mixed advice from nurses whilst in hospital (my CNS never came to see me) and really don't want to risk tearing any internal stitches.

I hope you are doing well now with no recurrences.

All the best.

xx

Great news that you are feeling so well.  Sorry for late reply - I have been decorating.  I now have to keep a window open overnight while the paint dries and it is freezing here!  Do you have a phone number for your CNS?  The hospital where I was, there are a few of them who seem to share one office/phone so there is usually someone there to give advice, or one of the team to call me back.