P.S.

Hi Mrs Muggle,

Sorry to hear this.

I think most of us go through bad patches in life and I end up feeling 'Why me?' 'What have I done to deserve this? The first time it really hit me was when my Mum died at the relatively young age of 62.I really missed the advice on child care that I always had.

The next time was when my daughter had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and her daughter was whisked into hospital at 15 months old with a nasty tummy bug. She was put on a drip. They let the grand daughter out after a week the day before my daughter had her operation! We were called in to help with child care while my son-in-law looked after my daughter in hospital!!! It was nearly 40 years since I had changed a nappy, and never used a disposable one. (I got it on the wrong way) When they were both back home I started itching and it turned out to be shingles brought on by all the stress!!!! My daughter still suffers with irritated bowels made worse by the chemo she had. She really doesn't deserve this after what she has had (not to mention a divorce). Why us? We'll never know, and all you can do is pick yourself up and carry on. Better times will (and have) come. xxxx

Hi Nanny Anny,

It does sound as if you have had way more than your share of hospitals and illness. Yet, you encourage me by knowing that you've coped with way more than your share. Hopefully, I can get past these feelings of hopelessness that border on the grotesque. What really tipped me nearly over the edge was auntie's funeral. I've been to many funerals, yet this one seemed different somehow. The other thing, of course, is what was found on my last CT scan and being told they'll just keep an eye on it. My personality is such that I'm an extreme perfectionist. This 'thing' on the scan and the waiting just causes a feeling of hopelessness. Dr. Google and I are best friends!

Well, I must pick myself up and carry on with whatever. I pray the better times will come soon.

Thank you so much for your reply.

Jan xx

So sorry to hear about your cousins wife, this kinda news just makes us shudder Ms Muggle. Jan knowing how much of a wonderful person she was and the tragedy of the fact that she was expecting their first grandchild and was so thrilled only compounds the sadness, life is so unpredictable but its what we do in life that matters. Sending you gentle hugs again.

Hi Jan I'm sorry to hear you're going through a really hard time at the moment. My brother died of cancer a couple of weeks ago just 5 months from his first symptoms and I share that feeling of being surrounded by it, especially as I was going through a recurrence of my own. I pm you a while ago.

Hi Kate,

It really hasn't been a good summer at all. I'm so sorry about your brother. That's just so soon after diagnosis. It seems, at times, that we are surrounded by this horrible disease. I know that it's come to dominate my life. The fear of recurrence is always there. Last week, I went to my auntie's funeral. It wasn't cancer, though. For some reason, it really, really got to me. I just couldn't shake the image for days. 

How are they treating your recurrence? It must come as such a shattering blow for you. I wish I had words of comfort other than I do know how you're feeling. I'm fearing the October appointment I have for the CT scan and just what they'll find on there. I just never expect anything good. :/ You know, Kate, at times, I really feel like washing my hands of the whole thing, just quitting. The emotional toll is worse than the physical one.

I did answer a pm from you. I hope we can just hang in there and manage to deal with whatever's thrown at us next. Hopefully, it might be something that isn't negative. We're due!!!!

love and hugs,

Jan xx