Should I be feeling different?

Hi Poopsie,

I am in a very similar position, a couple of months ahead of you, and have reacted the same way. I think from the women I have met in the oncology centre,and from posts on here,  that dealing with it this way is quite common. 

I think there are times one feels less up for taking it on the chin, but on the whole it works for me too, so here's hoping it continues to do so for both of us.

Hope you start to feel better from the op soon. I found the most challenging part of radiotherapy was getting that delicate balance of empty bowel and full bladder to order, but at least it makes you stay hydrated. The E45 cream twice daily worked, I have had no skin problems so far and I finished my 5 weeks radiotherapy on 12th July.

Best wishes x

Hi Poopsie,

There isn't any 'normal' way to react, you keep doing you, it's working for you and keeping you calm. I was pretty calm and chilled at my diagnosis appointment and waiting in pre op, etc but I did have one or two hormonal / fear fuelled crying fits whilst I was waiting on surgery. After treatment ended, for me that was after my first follow up appointment after my surgery, I had a bit of a melt down when I got back to my car, I think it all hit me then, it's like I was releasing a relief value.

Do whatever makes you comfortable and don't worry about comparing yourself to everyone else, just know that we are all here to help you and if you do have a bit of a dip there is lots of help out there, through this site, the helpline, your CNS, this group, etc, etc.

Congratulations on the soon to be new grandchild, 

lots of love

xxx

Hi Poopsie I think all our reactions are unique to the individual. When I was first diagnosed I was in total shock and my legs gave way. Recently I had the dreaded reoccurence news and I took that really calmly and the had a meltdown a few days after.  I hope it goes well for you, take care Dawn

That's good to know Mrs W - thank you!   E45 is one of my favourites too xx

Thanks Arla,  it's good to be in this group x

Hi Dawn, thank you!  I do hope everything goes well for you too, all the very best.  Jane x

Hello ,

You know how we all react to the news its cancer, here's the treatment plan then what's next? Is so varied, I was the calm one just taking it all in my stride and honestly  in complete shock and denial. It was only really after I woke up from my hysterectomy that I realised what had just happened and that it was real. The ladies here are just fantastic they just get it! Trying to explain to others at times even some you thought would understand is hard at times but I know when I was diagnosed my Dad just fall apart and it seemed that I ended up having to be the levelheaded one, Mum was more calm about it and I just thought was after months of being fobbed off about me only having a couple of fibroids I felt betrayed, I lost trust in Doctors I knew something was very wrong but I just thought it was all in my mind as if it was serious the doctors wouldn't of taken over 10 months to diagnosis me. Its lucky I was low stage but being 37 at diagnosis as it was a couple of weeks from my 38th I didn't have children and that effected me so much more then I ever imagined. But I am 40 now still in remission and I have learnt to take each day as it comes and I have also seen life in a total different light. 

And congratulations on being about to be a Nana for a 3rd time. Yes its possible you may one day have a sudden melt down but you know I think most of us have had that happen, but most important its ok not to be OK and if your having a bad day then let it as tomorrow is another day!

Hi , A belated welcome from me too and congratulations on the forthcoming new grandchild.

There are definitely no  rights or wrongs. We are all different and though there will be similarities in the strategies we use for coping, we will each cope in our own, unique way. Most people commented that I was very calm - that's because I chose not to let them see the tears and fears. I chose to adopt a very positive approach and was blessed that close family and friends took their cue from that. I too have one of the serous types and yes the information on the internet makes for some very dismal reading. From the outset my lovely gynae-oncologist refused to discuss statistics with me, saying they weren't helpful. Boy was he right! I googled them and ended up having a long cry on the phone to my CNS, who managed to put me back together.

That was 3 yrs ago. I've had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy and so far all is going well. I was promoted to 6monthly checkups for the next 3 yrs in July. I refuse to let cancer define me. I've had to re-evaluate what's important to me, I've made some changes and I've done some new things. Believe me, I'm no Pollyanna and there have been times when I've cried, ranted, despaired, .but the last 3 years have also had times of great joy and laughter. I do believe that the approach we take throughout our treatment has a bearing on how we cope with what's happening. We are physical, emotional and spiritual beings, these elements interact with each other and a holistic approach which takes account of this can help. I couldn't have got through this without my wonderful medical team who dealt with the physical side, my close family, friends and CNS who supported the emotional side and my vicar, his wife and church family who supported me with prayer. 

So do what you need to do to get through this. I'm sure your positivity and your new grandchild will help enormously. Sending lots of good wishes your way x