How to live life to the fullest again

Hi jules i think this will resonate with most people all your energies come to the fore to enable you to come through and then months or years later the brain some how catches up. I was stage 3 3 years ago having regular scans and a recurrence has been found in a paraortic lymph node which is being removed on monday. Mostly ive managed to live with the uncertainty of recurrence but i cant pretend it hasnt been a huge setback with the feeling that i will never actually  be free of cancer. I also feel a totally different person and have lost that lovely feeling of carefreeness. Life throws up challenges but i have to admit this is the hardest. I try and stay in the day and realise when i have down days the only things thats changed is my perspective and that tomorrow ill probably feel better. We all mourn for our old life but instead i think you have to create a new one. Some people find counselling helps you could try that im sure the lovely ladies on here will have lots of advice. Be proud of yourself that youve done so well!!!

Hi Jules,

i can relate to what you are saying, I had my surgery (didn't need any extra treatment) 2 years ago, I don't feel like I'm the same person either, I thought it was just me so it's nice to know it might be a normal reaction after treatment and hopefully we will both feel better soon. I genuinely shouldn't have anything to complain about in my life but I'm feeling exhausted and very serious. I used to dance and sing around the house all the time and I kind of feel like some of the joy has left my life.

Have you seen the three good things thread? It's basically jotting down three good things that happen in your day, jotting them down every day makes you think about the joy in your day, even when it's not been a great one, folk usually jot down a nice lunch out, some new flowers in the garden, a walk in the sun, meeting a friend, etc, etc. it helps to lift your mood a bit. 

The other thing you could do is talk to your gp or CNS, they might have some good suggestions. Do you have surgical menopause? If so you could also ask for a referral to the menopause clinic.

lots of love 

xxx

Hi Jules, yes I really do get what you're saying.  This time last year I was having five weeks of radiotherapy following hysterectomy for grade 1 womb cancer.  I'm very lucky in that I came through it all fairly unscathed and although I have a few minor niggles, I feel very well, better in fact than for months before I was diagnosed.  But I have changed.  That carefree feeling has gone.  I'm content in life and have much enjoyment in the garden, photography and my various hobbies.  Im aware of the risk of recurrence and have found strategies for living with it.    I no longer get wildly  enthusiastic or overjoyed any more.  Even if I were to have a big lottery win I can't imagine jumping up and down screaming.  Yes, it would be wonderful but I would take it in my stride because I now know the only thing that really matters is family and health and pretty much nothing else.  Is that a bad thing?  

Thank you so much. Your message has been a god send.

I literally felt I was alone in my thoughts, and that it was all on my head 

thank you so much x

Thank you for your compassion, your ideas of jotting down three things seems amazing and will start a fresh in the morning with a new outlook.

Thank you

Hi I have just finished my treatment for my reoccurence i only managed 6 months from my hysterectomy.  I didn't cope well first time round, this time initially I have felt devastated, angry with the doctor's and cn nurses. I found out I had cancer cells in my blood and wasn't told.  I have challenged the doctor's they said treatment is based on risk and I was deemed low risk so they didn't offer any treatment re the blood.   I'm back at the hospital next week not looking forward to that but to be honest I am decorating my house due to me retiring early, and enjoying  it. I've come to the conclusion I can stay scared and angry or remember how I used to be and aspire to achieve that. They keep telling me at the hospital to go live my life but I was before the cancer and was enjoying it.  I hate what the cancer has done to me but I am not going to let it define me I'm out tomorrow with hubby and friends not done this since the reoccurence, funny I'm thinking less about the cancer and more about what I want to do.   I hope you find you again,  Dawn

Hi

i feel same way. I am very sorry to hear about your 

reoccurence . Hopefully  it will be resolved. Will be thinking  and praying for you. 

I had a very interesting experience today. I feel I should share this with you all. I have been having problem with my back for over a month. My son suggested that I should see someone. He made an appointment with an Osteopath. When I finished my appointment. I started walking and decided to take a short cut through the church yard. I saw a little black board saying that the church door is open to every one. You can pray or meditate and you are welcome to come in. 

I am not Christian. I am Muslim but I decided to go in the church to look around and may be meet someone there. 

There was no one inside. It was very silent, so I decided to sit and try to meditate. My tears did not stop. I was on my own for a good one hour. I must say I felt very relaxed afterward and very light. It was a remarkable and very moving experience. This church is one of the oldest church in the area and I have lived here for over 30 years. 

I hope I am not boring anyone but I felt I should share 

today’s experience with you all. 

Love

Rahman

Hi Jules

i was having a very similar discussion with my friend who is a live coach and has been a rock through my experience.

i said that I was worried the old me wouldn’t come back and she asked me why couldn’t I see that the new me was emerging and that there was nothing wrong with that.

i think it’s easy to cling to the ‘old me’ as it is safer and that you have control but I think there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that all of our journeys have changed us and we need to look and the things we have gained rather than what we’ve lost....

my first thing hang I have gained is that my husband and I are so much closer and our relationship and love have become so much more deeper..

‘I told him that I thought our love was up there with the great legends .... he then pretended to vomit in the car ... something hasn’t changed men aren’t so romantic

i think you should write your list about the post I’ve things that have changed for you and take each days and as everyone says be kind to yourself this is a long journey for all of us and we need to take our time 

love and hugs

I so envy people who have partner or family support close by. I have neither and have had to face all my cancers alone i think thats been harder than the cancer itself tbh. However my son in kenya is coming to stay when i get out of hosp for 5 precious days so will make the most of that. Nice to hear of different coping tactics we all use not to be defeated by our experiences. The mental effect of cancer is so overlooked by the medical profession.

Thank you for your words of kindnesses and your thoughts on how I can progress with my life.

sadly my marriage has ended, due to the person I had become and I’m trying so hard to promote a strong and now independent women for my daughter 

life has certainly changed but one day I’ll be strong enough xx