After treatment blues

FormerMember
FormerMember
  • 8 replies
  • 59 subscribers
  • 6138 views

hi all, the last time I checked in was just before my hysterectomy back in March, I’m now 10 weeks post op and it feels like just yesterday but also an eternity ago at the same time. I was elated to be told at my 6 week appointment that no further treatment is needed and once I feel ready I can go back to ‘normal’. Honestly I was really over the moon. I went back to work 2 weeks later and resumed for the most part normality - I’m still not 100% but for the most part feeling ok physically. The problem is I am suddenly feeling extremely overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, irritable and tense. It’s like I don’t know how to live normally and cope with the demands of work and friends and everyday things and my brain has vacated me. Did anybody else experience this feeling of being a little lost after treatment is over? My diagnosis and surgery were very close together and I’m just 30 with no children so I think it may be that I’ve not really dealt with all the aspects of the diagnosis yet. 

  • Hey Daff, 

    Just wondering, did they take your ovaries out too? 

    If so, the thing to remember is that your natural hormones will all be wearing off every day, and the menopause will be kicking in. That can do all sorts to your head, thoughts and emotions. 

    So that could explain it all too. 

    Lass

    Xx

    I have no medical training, everything I post is an opinion or educated guess. It is not medical advice.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Lass

    Hi Lass, 

    i still have my ovaries and recently had my hormones tested and they are producing as they should, as I told my consultant I was feeling extremely tired and had brain fog. He thinks it’s the stress of it all 

    xx

  • Ahhhh k. Then yes. 

    It's very normal for everyone who has had a cancer disgnosis to have that mood crash. Sometimes it's just once, sometimes it happens a few times, sometimes it only lasts for a day, a week, a month, etc. It's different for everyone in pretty much every way. 

    A cancer diagnosis, especially at a young age, is a life changing diagnosis. Sometimes with lots of knock on effects - like the no biologically carried kids for you.

    Just taking some time to yourself to investigate the feelings you're having is a big help. But also being kind and understanding towards yourself in those moments helps too. Remembering you're not alone and that this is all very normal can be a comfort too. 

    Talk about it, vent about it, do whatever you need to to help you get through. There's no wrong reactions, so long as you keep moving forwards. 

    Lass

    Xx

    I have no medical training, everything I post is an opinion or educated guess. It is not medical advice.

  • Hi Daff,

    I second everything Lass has said to you.

    Having cancer is a life changing experience (in more ways than one). Until then you feel invincible (I know I did), and suddenly it hits you that you are not invincible. I think it must be worse at a young age. And you might have had your life mapped out, and suddenly that's changed.  Hopefully the feelings will pass as you adapt to the new you. I think you will appreciate just living more!!! 

    After my daughter had breast cancer at 37 she vowed to have a party and celebrate every '0' birthday. Her 40th was very good fun, just what the family (and friends) needed.  xxxxxx

  • Hi Daff,

    I felt the same, I was so happy with the no more treatment then a few weeks down the line I had a huge dip, it took me a while to settle back into my life, it'll be two years after my surgery in august and to be honest I still struggle a bit sometimes, not all the time, but I definitely still get mood dips and anxious (although my ovaries have been whipped out too so I've got the surgical menopause). 

    So, practically, I went to counselling arranged by my CNS, that helped me deal with the diagnosis and shock. A while later I asked to be referred to occupational health at work and they arranged counselling for me and some small adjustments at work which helped me fight the fatigue and deal with work stress and the feelings of inadequacy that I developed at work after my op, I keep feeling like I'm not as sharp or as quick as I used to be, but I'm learning to deal with it. 

    Im definitely getting better with time though, so keep your chin up and be kind to yourself.

    Lots of love

    xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Deff

    sorry that you are feeling this way. This is quiet normal after the treatment. I felt same way. I found afternoons very difficult. I have tried to meet friends every afternoon for last few months and talk about my feelings . This helped me a lot. I feel lot better. 

    Take care and lots of love 

    Rahman x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you all. It’s reassuring to read some of the things you all experienced as I can relate and it feels more normal when you know others feel/felt the same or similar. I popped in to the oncology drop in service this morning and they are sorting me out with some counselling so should hear from them tomorrow about that. Hopefully i can see someone soon and try and make sense of this jumbled up mess in my head! X 

  • Hi I'm glad your team have referred you for some counselling. It can be very hard and sometimes very lonely  dealing with the emotional effects of a cancer diagnosis and treatment. I had adjuvant treatment too so had to deal with all of that, which was tough going at times, but I agree with those who say that dealing with the emotional side is often harder and that it can take longer to recover emotionally. Everyone expects you to be "back to normal" once your treatment is over but they vastly underestimate  the effects of major surgery on body, mind and spirit. You feel as though your body has let you down and regaining confidence takes time. I found myself re-evaluating my life and what's important to me and that took some thinking through. I had some informal counselling from our vicar and his wife which was very helpful but I wouldn't hesitate to go for professional counselling if I thought I needed it. I'm 2yrs on from the end of treatment (almost 3 from diagnosis) and whilst there are some days when the what ifs and the negatives rear their ugly heads, the good days definitely outnumber the bad ones. You will get there, be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal. Gentle hugs x