Feeling rubbish today

Hi Rossana, I am replying because I too live alone and was living alone late 2017 when I had total laparoscopic hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. I hope I spelled that right. I am also very active, independent and outdoors a lot, and I wonder if like me you feel down when you have to stay indoors? Helpful friends lent me books and DVD to keep me occupied but I didn't really feel like reading and so on, I just wanted to be out and about. I really missed running and cycling and the social contact that goes along with it. While I recovered I set myself some goals in terms of short walks, this kept up my usual routine of getting out and about even though it was a little wander round the block rather than a run. Is there anyone from Macmillan that you can contact locally? I saw someone (I think it was part of their "move more" project) and was supplied with an activity chart which I filled in every day with what I had done and how far I had walked. It was only for me to look at, but just having it there was like a reminder to plan something each day. My CNS advised me when it would be ok for me to resume sports etc again which was about 3 months post-op. It was a bit of a downer having to start again from scratch however it was a project for me, to plan my activities and distances and times and that kept me looking towards the future.

Have you got any help at home while you recover? I assume that you also had a hysterectomy and are still having to take it easy regarding housework.  3 weeks is early days.  I found it frustrating to sit indoors and look at all the jobs I couldn't do.  At that time I had some old packaging etc to take to the tip and it was weeks before I could manage that, and it was a constant irritation to me.  Once I was able to drive again someone helped me carry it all out to the car and I went off to the tip and it felt like a real milestone. So, this time will pass, I hope you feel better soon.  Meantime maybe try and set yourself a to-do list each day.

Thanks for your reply, yes I has the total hysterectomy 3 weeks ago. I too am an outdoor person and like walking etc. I have been doing regular walks shortish ones that I've been building up. I don't have help in the home as such my daughter doesn't live near. I've had plenty of help with shopping. Friends have been very kind and taken me out to lunch etc. I'm just feeling a bit down today, probably worse as Bank Holiday and I can't do anything  I also sneezed hard this morning and made my wounds feel sore x

Hi Rossanna,

I often feel fed up on a bank holiday (even without an operation). I always imagine everyone else enjoying themselves, while I am stuck in avoiding crowded roads and beaches!!! 

Three weeks is early days, although I can remember persuading husband to take me out in the motor home just for a change of scenery!!! He went off walking while I put my feet up. I think its being in the same four walls that depresses me!!!

Have you a best friend you could go out with to a coffee shop or pub? Even that would make a change. I found I had to do things in little steps, but I got there in the end. Sending you a (BIG HUG) xxxx

Thanks most days I have done things like that. Just having a blip day. I live in a seaside area lots going on. 

I will probably be OK tomorrow xx

Hi Rosanna,

It's totally normal to feel down some days, I know I did, on those days I watched tv and had a good cry. i struggled for a while after my operation to feel better mentally so I kept as busy as I could seeing people and having lunches out at least every second day to try and have things to look forward to. My CNS arranged some counselling for me and I found that really helpful, my CNS also arranged for me to visit a menopause clinic, that was helpful too, they really are great at signposting to help, mine was happy to chat to me, I often had to leave a message but she always called me back. 

Lots of love and I hope you feel brighter after a good night sleep.

Lots of love 

xxx

Thankyou, that's exactly how I have felt today fed up with everything, couldn't read my book, TV getting on my nerves, havnt been out today  Sneezed and made my wounds sore so then darnt do much

that's my moaning done, have to remember I lucky to have hade grade 1 xx

Hi Rossanna

I am now 6 weeks post op after my hysterectomy (serous uterine cancer). The op itself was less of an ordeal than I was expecting with 75% done laproscopically and then an incision made on the bikini line to remove the uterus as it proved to be larger than was expected.

Because I was up and walking around so soon after the op and continued to increase my walking every day (Just down the garden and back to start with) and feeling  not as bad  as I was expecting after a major surgery like that, I set myself a bit of a goal that by week 3 I would be feeling so much better and it was just a matter of passing the time till I reached that landmark. To my surprise I found that after 3 weeks and like you are experiencing right now, i became quite emotional about it all. I don't know whether it was the  3 weeks of being stuck at home on my own and unable to drive (that did play a big part in making me feel housebound) or whether this was a delayed reaction to everything that I had been through in the past few months, mostly on my own.

But what a difference I feel at the 6 week stage (6 weeks tomorrow) my stomach feels just about back to normal, just the odd twinge now and then. I am back driving again. My energy levels are so much better., no more  irregular bleeding...And I feel so well both physically and mentally. 

So hang on in there Rossanna......hopefully you will follow a similar pattern and there is light at the end of the tunnel just a few more weeks away.

(I too live alone. It's a difficult thing to have to go through on your own but I found I managed the home part afterwards not too badly by myself)

Thank you so much for your positive email, I'm sure it maybe a delayed reaction especially as the visitors and phone calls have tailed off. Then bank holiday  Only 3 more weeks to go then. I do have to have brachytherapy another hurdle  Also only on part pay from work so more to sort out

Thanks again xx

I think the lack of visitors and phone calls after a few weeks was part of my problem too Rossanna. Everyone was so kind & caring just immediately after my op but for those that have not been through the experience themselves, it was almost as though after a few weeks had passed, people thought I should be  'over it by now' and ....the phone calls seemed to be less frequent or just dwindled away (not intentionally I'm sure). 

When you live by yourself its so important to keep that daily contact with the outside world especially when you are still having 'off days', whether its physically or emotionally. On the emotional days that I've experienced I  found that a good crying session helped...and once my face and eyes looked presentable again, I would then go out and have a walk where I knew there would be people around that I could meet and pass the time of day with. This was my way of coping with things.

Good luck with the treatment Rossanna, I'm still waiting to hear what they have in store for me. Apparently it was to be discussed at last weeks group meeting that includes all  the parties involved in my case.

Wishing you very good health and a speedy recovery. 

Do you have a maggie s centre near you? They are a great help with advice on employment, benefits, counselling etc. Thinking of you xx