New diagnosis, no children

  • 2 replies
  • 90 subscribers
  • 99 views

Hi,

Today I was just told I have endometrial cancer, I'm only 38 have no children and have always wanted children. I'm waiting for an mri to confirm the stage. I'm still in shock as it's only been a few hours. But I'm scared that the only treatment or best treatment would be a hysterectomy. I was in a cult (high demand church) for 15 years that told us not to have children (it's best to not to have children) and also didn't have any relationships in that time. My first thought was I wasted so long being there when I could have had children and a possible hysterectomy wouldn't be so bad, cause id have my children. But now, I have a very small support group,luckily my parents, but they are older and aren't too well themselves and no friends as in the high demand group you cut yourself off from friend and family. anyway I'm assuming my situation is normal for 38 yr old with no kids who wants them, but the cult bit isn't. Is there anyone who has been diagnosed before menopause who had no children and wanted them? How did you deal with it? What helped or is helping you with that grief and loss?

Thank you 

  • I am so sorry to hear this, I am 61 and was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, so it's not the same for me, although I desperately want to survive this obviously. My heart goes out to you and I think you will get a lot of support on here, I have found it very helpful. Keep talking to people I think there are a lot of support groups although I think this one is best, your specialist nurse should be a good contact to help you, best wishes to you x 

  • Firstly, take a breath and stand back from it all for a while. It can be overwhelming. You need to find some peace and strength and the best way to do this is to take each day at a time and each step at a time.

    Try not to overthink it right now while you await the full results and remember there are people who can support you in this. On this site, your medical team, your GP and hopefully family and friends. IF your cancer is diagnosed as being stage 1, grade 1, then it's still possible for you to try for children, by way of hormonal treatment. Other women have done this with success. However, even if it's not, this cancer is very treatable and there will be support on this journey, you just have to access it. I am a lot older than you, had early stage and grade EC and have had hormonal treatment, with success - insomuch there is no sign of cancer right now. It still needs to be monitored though and there is no easy path as such.

    Reach out to others who are there to help you. There are so many wonderful people on this site who are experienced and helpful. You say that you are scared that the only or best treatment might be hysterectomy and generally speaking that's right for most women. However, we are all individuals and there are other treatments for those who do not want that or for whom surgery is not possible for whatever reason. Talk over your fears of hysterectomy with those who have gone through this, as many have had very good outcomes. It's natual to be scared but talking it over will help pave the way forward.