Constantly catastrophising - finally have operation date

Great that you have the op date! Did you get through to one of the OCD helplines at all? 
I’d recommend that, if you haven’t already, you make sure the Talking Therapies person knows about your OCD as OCD needs a different type of counselling and needs to be delivered by someone experienced in that area, otherwise a therapist might end up offering reassurance which won’t help if reassurance seeking is one of their rituals.

Thank you. I’ll be honest, I haven’t tried yet as had so much going on in my head. One of the sites you have to submit your details for them to call you back. I read some very helpful information on the other site though, it really resonates. You have been wonderful 

Great news that you now have date for op, and have details of surgeon. Also good you start Talking Therapies on Monday, so things now beginning to move forward for you. Hopefully this will start to help you. You say you don’t want your daughter to see you, but perhaps this is making things worse for her? Perhaps the two of you could make the plans for what you need for your op and what you need post op…only a suggestion.

thinking of you, and hope you can start to see things differently soon xx

Hi again Lizbot, looking at the OCD Action website, you could still call tonight! 

OCD Action offers a free, confidential helpline which provides an unbiased source of information and support for people with OCD and the people in their lives. Call 0300 636 5478 free, visit the OCD action page to request a call or email support@ocdaction.org.uk. Open Monday to Friday, 9.30 am to 8 pm.

Thanks for your response. I had a breakdown a couple of years ago and it’s still quite triggering for her to see me agitated so I feel that it’s best for me to keep my distance. 

how are you doing?

Thank you again - I’ve called and left a VM, that’s so very kind of you to go that extra length for me. 

Does recurrence play on your mind? How do you deal with it? 

Ah, sorry re my suggestion re your daughter. I’m doing fine thanks, although I do seem to pick up every cold going at moment, so I have also been in bed some days this past week, just hoping latest one goes soon!   The latest one picked up as I went on a solos holiday to Prague for Christmas, third holiday since finishing treatment, so you can get back to old life again!

Am glad you have your op date through and it's not too far ahead. 

Good luck with Talking therapies on Monday.

I think that most people who have had cancer worry about recurrence at some point. All you can do is to try to get it into some sort of perspective. Yes, it can happen but for many of us- it has not. For me it was about doing all the treatment advised- surgery, then chemo and then radiotherapy and then attending all the check up appointments. I was seen every 12 weeks for 2 years. Now it is about being aware of what symptoms could be concerning and knowing that my CNS is there and I can contact her at any point. I try and think of it that the fear of recurrence is perhaps what keeps us safe- we are aware if something is not right and we would then get checked. For those of us who do have adjuvant treatment, then the reason for that is to reduce the risk of recurrence. If there is a recurrence at any point then catching it at the earliest stage will often mean that treatment can be offered. 

Try to focus on the surgery and what you will need to put together for the hospital and for recovery. In 3 weeks you should be home and recovering. 

Jane