Positive news so why do I still feel so anxious?

Christmas is a very stressful time, so much pressure on one day. It also seems to be a fairly normal reaction when things are going well to think well this cant last and if you havent had many operations before some people get nervous about having a general anaesthetic. If you are having those sort of feelings take them out, take a good look at them and tell yourself this is just nerves.  Eat any dark chocolate you have lying around as the magnesium is good for anxiety. Eat too much and you'll have an upset stomach as magnesium can be a bit laxative - but that will keep your mind off other worries!

Hi

Am glad that your CNS called you on Christmas Eve with some good news. 

Am sorry that you are still feeling anxious. It sounds like things are moving quite quickly now with the surgery being in January and maybe this could be part of it. So you have had some good news re spread, and staying with the original hospital but in some ways things are still a bit up in the air as you still need to have the date for surgery and to go through the preop checks etc. Having any sort of surgery and general anaesthetic can be scary. And you have gone from not knowing what may happen to knowing for certain that surgery is going ahead and it may make it all feel very real. 

With anxiety there can be patterns perhaps where when one thing is no longer such a worry, another thing may start to cause concern? I know for me it was a case of being worried about the diagnosis, and then to worry about what would happen. Then I worried about the surgery and then it was post op results. Once I had them it was worry about chemo and then after that it was worry about radiotherapy. So at each stage there was some anxieties/worries.

I think it is always hard at this time of year and I hope that you are able to have the surgery quickly and will then be back home recovering. 

Jane

Hi Lizbot

That is amazing news from the CNS you must be so relieved. The thing with anxiety and depression is they don’t just suddenly disappear I find when I am having an episode I start to gradually get the odd day when I feel better but that can be followed by a few bad days. For me the good days get more frequent and gradually replace the bad days but it can take some time. Did you mention you have been prescribed antidepressants? If so they can take several weeks to take effect. Don’t beat yourself up when you have bad days they will pass and things will gradually get better. In my experience there can be absolutely no reason to suddenly have a bad day and it’s not helpful to keep asking yourself why. Things will improve… be kind to yourself! 

Linda xxx

Brilliant news! The loss of control can take some getting used to - for me what helped was taking control of what I could, eg focussing on my packing list, buying things for my hospital stay, booking my taxi for the day, planning for afterwards etc, and finding out all I could about the op and my surgeon. 

Hi Liz

So pleased to hear your news, and the fact that you now believe this will be cured. That is a huge step forward. You have been through so much recently, so only natural it will still take time to process, and it is a rollercoaster journey. Don’t beat yourself up re how you are feeling. Just give yourself some small targets each day and you will get there x

So pleased you have had good news. Knowing the next step means there's something to plan for. Actively doing things to prepare i find helpful and a good distraction although at some times anxiety gets in the way of this for a while. You have been proactive in moving forward which is great! 

Thank you all for your kind words, they’re a great support

i feel so alone and isolated in all of this - my ex wasn’t a very nice man and I divorced him but I keep wishing he was here, just to have someone next to me. All family and friends think I should be happy and able to just crack on now, and yet I’m here unable to move out of bed for the second day running. 

i just need for all of this to be in the past so I can start to hopefully move forward but I’m worried about the long term impact on my mental health 

if any of you had met me a few months ago, you would never have thought that I’d be this complete mess of a woman - I’m usually very strong and independent, I travelled round lake Garda on my own just back in October, I was flying in my career. And now I’m just crying and sleeping all the time. I’m sure you can all agree, it’s an absolutely horrific nightmare 

Cancer on top of a divorce, however much you wanted to be free of a nasty ex, is a huge emotional toll.  We are not indestructible, and that is OK.  

I think it hard for other people to understand, how ever well meaning they are, unless they have experienced cancer. 

One step at a time, break it all down into little steps. Today, first step, go and put the kettle on and have a cuppa. I used to find if I could get up and get that first cuppa of the day, I would feel more like having a quick shower- even if I just put comfy clothes on and took my duvet to the sofa- it made a difference. My not wanting to leave bed was during my chemo- but I found I would feel worse if I stayed in one place. Simply moving to another room and having a drink would help. Sometimes I would just go and sit outside in the garden for 5 minutes. Fresh air helped.