It’s not good news for my mum

Thank you for the detailed response.

Yes that’s all we can hope for at the moment. I’m someone that likes to feel in control so I spent the last few weeks doing so much research, not necessarily googling stats but reading through all the responses on multiple forums to get a sense of what treatment could look like for her as well asking ChatGPT to clarify things I didn’t understand. I had a long list of questions for the oncologist and had tried to prepare myself for less positive news but didn’t expect this news especially since my mum still seems perfectly ok and any symptoms she’s had have been minor at best and easily explained away. The doctor said she has age and fit health on her side which is positive. 

The tumour is small which explains the lack of extensive symptoms but as there’s signs of spread to omentum, peritoneum, lymph nodes and potentially hand of bowel, the surgery will be a lot more extensive and also has a small risk of her needing a stoma. She’ll be in hospital for 5 days and recovery will likely take 6 weeks but I’m hoping the surgery goes well and they’re able to do the debulking successfully as that will help survival. 

I’m also hoping the chemotherapy / radiotherapy goes as smoothly as possible for her, and that she can achieve remission.

I don’t think it’ll ever not be extremely tough but we had an okay day today taking a walk and watching light hearted TV so celebrating that small achievement for now. 

You do right to make the most of each and every day. That's all any of us can do, whatever our situation. I made the mistake of allowing things to overwhelm me when I was first diagnosed - and wasted over 2 months in a funk, where nothing got done and I was like a rabbit in the headlights...

I can't get those 2 months back, when I could have done and experienced so much.

Scroll forward to now and I've overcome that and make the most of every day, no matter what. 

I don't want to be mauldlin but I recall the words of the late Rob Burrow, who said: 'whatever hardship you are dealing with, face it headlong, find some courage - and make the most of every day.' He was an inspiration/ I know it's hard but in some ways, even the most painful times can help you find what matters most.

• I am supporting a friend with stage 4 b serous endometrial cancer. The news hit like a truck and was completely out of the blue.  Some pain and bloating.  I still look back and can't believe it. She is doing chemo,  Just had surgery then back to chemo. My thoughts are with you. 

Thinking of you. 

Just to say many areas have support services that include family and friends which may be something to look out for. Maggie's Centres but also online resources like videos or virtual coffee mornings via recognised charities. I found it helpful myself to know there was support even if I didn't take it all. My hospital also has a cancer wellbeing coordinator, separate from the Clinical Nurse Specialists (CNS). These may be things to support you support your mum

 It can be all consuming, I hope you are able to recharge your batteries in a way that feels good for you. 

Best wishes

I’m really trying my best especially during this time before treatment where she is seemingly okay despite the gravity of the diagnosis. My mental health isn’t good at all so it makes it quite a challenge. I want to be able to enjoy the present moment but I feel so emotionally exhausted & each day feels like a rollercoaster of emotions.

We organised a family staycation a few days before the first oncology appointment that she really enjoyed and we’ve had a few further moments since then that I’ve treasured but it can be so hard when everything is so shocking. My mum has moments where she is really down & mentally exhausted which is so heartbreaking to see. I know that this is the “easiest” part of the journey as she doesn't seem unwell at the present moment but it’s already so tough. 

Thank you. It has been all consuming, I may consider the Maggies Living with Stress course but I’m struggling with the concept of having to go to the centre physically but it’s good to know there is support available. 

I have a good support network with my boyfriend (who had to go through a similar thing with his mum a couple of years back so knows the pain), and my sister, as well as my half-sisters which I’m trying to lean on. It’s just me and my mum at home as my sisters live further away so it can feel quite lonely as I don’t want my mum to have to hold my emotions as well as my own. I already have therapy which I’ll continue to use, but talking through what’s happening feels too painful when it’s all still fresh and raw, and I’m also trying to juggle supporting my mum so can’t afford to be crying all the time. 

I’m sorry to hear your friend has also been diagnosed with stage 4 serous endometrial.

It’s quite hard to find stories of people diagnosed at a similar stage for this type of cancer. The shock is so much. I’m naturally pessimistic but I didn’t even expect it to have got this far so quickly. My mum didn’t delay with her symptoms, and the doctors did do everything in the standard timelines (although I do wish they’d been faster). 

My thoughts are with you and your friend too, and I hope treatment is going as well as it can for her. 

You and your mother have been delivered a cruel blow and that's going to take a long time to adjust to. Individually and together. Don't rush it. The news your mother's specialist gave including recurrence is the same as my friend. I was taken back with how aggressive it is. More so because it presented quite suddenly . But my friend is a unique individual..she responded well to chemo when they didn't think it would be that effective, she got through the surgery ( no stoma which was also a possibility) and is facing her next chemo next week..after that it's surveillance. I take it a day at a time. Otherwise it will overwhelm you and you may miss what is. Good day. I know it sounds cliche but it's so important.  Try and accept help as well. We arranged a cleaning roster to help keep the place running. It's also good company for the person. Food  was hit and miss. We all like to think the person doing chemo should be pumping themselves with the good foods but my friend couldn't stomach a lot of them. For some periods of she ate anything it was a win. At one point the nutritionist said just eat something .. anything to keep the calories on. They do have excellent medications for nausea Fatigue is a biggie so she preferred visits to be short and non taxing. Gifts we arrange regularly and are practical things just for her. I guess everyone will be different.  Please look after yourself and please keep in contact with how you and your mum are doing. 

Thank you, I’d have loved to have better news to pump us up for the fight ahead but it has felt like a massive blow. I want to adjust so that I don’t spend this time with my mum completely heartbroken. I’ve been trying to take it one day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time otherwise I end up in deep spirals. There are moments in the day where I have to cry and scream as a release and although it’s exhausting I’ve realised it’s best to just let it out when it wants to come out. 

My mum has her surgery scheduled on the 16th June now and we’ve had similar advice from the CNS to get her eating as much as she can especially protein so we’re trying to follow that. Right now she’s able to cook, clean and work so I’m trying to enjoy the normalcy while it is still here as know it’ll be different after the surgery. My mum never gets sick, I’ve had COVID numerous times and even though we live together, she’s never had it (as far as we know). She had her first cold in 2 years a couple of weeks ago, and hasn’t been admitted in the hospital since she gave birth to me (nearly 30 years ago) so I know the surgery is going to be emotionally difficult & she’s quite nervous for it but we’re hoping for the best.

I have an older sister who lives a couple of hours away, and 2 half sisters that also live further away, who will be supporting and we’re also hoping my aunt can come from abroad as additional help. We do have a good support network which is why I’m surprised that I often feel very lonely, even though my boyfriend has been visiting a lot. I think the diagnosis / waiting for scans stage has already burnt me out as I’ve been the main person dealing with coordinating and getting information, as well emotionally supporting my mum on the ground. The CNS who was initially assigned to my mum was away the whole time which added to the stress of everything. The consultant formally apologised after we informed PALs which I really appreciated but the emotional damage had already been done by that point.

I’m really glad to hear that your friend didn’t need a stoma, and is responding well to chemotherapy. Hope you’re also looking after yourself. All of this is very emotionally tough. 

Hello I am in a similar time line as your mum. I too have advanced serous carcinoma endometrial. I have my first appt tomorrow at Bart’s hospital for chemo. Mine has spread to lymph node in neck. I am being told 3 rounds of chemo then hysterectomy then 3 rounds of chemo. I am frightened and scared too. I haven’t had any symptoms apart from polyp (which was removed during hysterscopy) and watery discharge. I am the same age as your mum and don’t feel unwell at the moment. I do hope your mum gets on well with the hysterectomy and I am sending lots of hugs and best wishes for you and your mum