Hysteroscopy and Medical Trauma

Hi, I’m neurodivergent and have CPTSD from childhood trauma and have also had medical trauma. I appreciate that we are all different and I’m not intending to discount your anxiety at all, but for me, I worked out that my anxiety over possibly having cancer (and wanting to know for sure) was greater than my other anxieties, so I used disassociation (often not healthy but sometimes handy) and pragmatism to get done what needed to be done, reminding myself that the outcome would be that I’d know and get it sorted. I hope you manage to find something that works for you. 

Thank you, I appreciate that disassociation can be helpful under some circumstances. My anxiety and neurodiversity tends to manifest in the opposite way with perseveration despite using numerous techniques to try and not allow it. I think what is making it worse, is that I am being pragmatic and forcing myself through the processes but it is not achieving a definitive diagnosis and I am being warned of a distinct possibility that they may not be able to biopsy or do a polypectomy.

For me, my first hysteroscopy failed due to the consultant not being willing to proceed as he didn’t have a clear pathway and was worried about injuring me or sending me into shock. My hysteroscopy under GA was a breeze and the consultant removed a polyp and was able to do a biopsy too. I was only under for about half an hour.

That's reassuring that despite being told the same things as me you did get a successful result. I keep telling myself that, and if the next one fails I will have to consent, but it's all the layers around it. My trauma is rooted in what have been totally unacceptable experiences, the problems have been due to people not procedures. My GP has put in place reasonable adjustments including continuity of care so I can build trusting relationships. There is a digital flag on my records about this, but the hospital trust I am under is not able to provide that pre-diagnosis. So far I have seen 3 different consultants. It's really not the ga or the procedure itself, it's the interactions, the monitoring, the necessity for attendance for preop tests. I cannot attend without extreme panic and the long delays between the attempts and tests just escalate my difficulties which feed off uncertainty.

As an aside, I like your username. I love Marmite and was born in 1959.

I'm so sorry about the situation you are in. 

I have been given an alternative to diazepam as apparently it doesn't work the same for everyone and that worked better. It's also sometimes possible that the timings and doses need to be changed for each individual to prevent stress building prior. I had my hysteroscopy under GA. It was in a day surgery unit which was different smaller and quieter than a main department. We are all different but I was so grateful to be asleep. It meant much reduced trauma for me and a quicker result in terms of what happened next. 

Thank you. The GP did consider alternatives and we have talked about the best way to take it and splitting the dose over an extended period so it's in the system is his current suggestion. He did also consider a betablocker but I have a low resting heart rate - well when I'm not in a total panic - so it was contraindicated.

That's really good that your GP is considering options. I've tried a couple of meds and methods adjusted to the situation which have been really helpful. It's taken me years to say I have an issue so hats off to you for even talking about it. It also helps lots of other people to know they're not alone. 

I was the same. I knew I'd have to find a way to move forward. I must admit staff seemed to react mostly well when I said I wanted to work with them to get things done. 

There have been some absolutely amazing staff and some absolutely dreadful. I have a digital flag on my record due to trauma and anxiety and some have been very respectful of that. But others have completely ignored it. But I accept that NHS faster diagnosis is not really set up for reasonable adjustments or personalised care.