The time is coming to tell my family

Hello Capylovesjam,

Welcome to the online community. I am sorry to see that your cancer has developed and that you may now need to have further treatment. I can totally understand you keeping it between you and your husband so far and know that telling your family is not going to be easy. 

I found telling family and friends really difficult but because my symptoms came on very quickly they already knew something was happening so it did prepare them a bit. Telling my son was the hardest as I wanted to protect him. I lost my own Mum through cancer so I knew how it may affect him. In the end I told him, they had found something and it could be cancer and then by the time my biopsy results came through he was somewhat prepared. 

You say that there is a MDT meeting and then they will confirm the next steps. Maybe that could be an opportunity to bring things up. 

Please feel free to post on here, there are lots of us who have been in a similar situation and we do understand how difficult it is. 

If there is anything else you need support with please let us know. Hopefully the MDT meeting will happen soon and you will know what the next steps are.

Take care 

Jane

Thank you. I feel better getting it written down. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and own diagnosis, I hope things are going ok with you now?

I'm very much avoiding telling my manager. It's a very delicate situation and when I first told her of my cancer, her attitude towards me changed severely. I'm afraid she will go back to trying to threaten my job again. I've already spoken to HR for advice on certain aspects but they seem to support her so I'm very afraid of how it will play out 

I always find it helps to write things down. My Mum was a long time ago now. I am now on check ups every 12 weeks.

I was lucky with my work- they knew about it anyway as I became ill at work and went to a&e from there. To be honest they couldn't have been more supportive which makes a big difference. 

I see you have spoken with HR but if you ever want advice from somewhere separate to work there are advisors on here. 

Ask a Work Support Adviser - Macmillan Online Community

Jane

Glad you are hopefully doing ok now with your check ups

Thanks I will look at it. I do need to make sure that I'm fully briefed with all of the facts. My manager has given me incorrect information and also made me use my own time for my appointments when according to the sickness policy, I was entitled to disability leave to cover them. Shame that I apparently have to request it myself. I have only found out now but better late than never I suppose 

Hi Capylovesjam, well done for reaching out to this community. There are lots of ladies on here who will be able to offer support and advice. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer July 2022 after some very minor symptoms. It was such a shock and my head was all over the place. I live alone, have no children and my parents had passed away some time ago. I didn't know what to do or say to people. My only close relative is my brother who lives 20 miles away. I spent several days practising what I'd say to him on the phone but knew I had to tell him. It didn't go quite as planned - I ended up blurting it out and bursting into tears- but was relieved when I'd finally told him. It was like a,huge weight had been lifted off my mind. He was very supportive and encouraging. Other than my brother I only told a few close friends but opened up to a few more after my op which went as well as it could do. It was always a difficult and emotional conversation but I'm glad I did it. Strangely it released a lot of my emotion. Perhaps when you've got a clearer picture about your diagnosis and treatment plan you may feel in a better position to confide in those who are close to you. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for your next appointment.  Take care. xx