So I had my surgery on tues - and thank u to all of the people that reached out to wish me luck! I was a nervous wreck quite frankly . surgery really didnt seem that bad - it was the damn catheter that I had to go home with that was the problem! Ugh- I couldn't pee on my own so. I had to take it home. I was so utterly. freaked out by it. went back in yesterday and they took it out thank god. apparently the dr told my husband that the surgery went well . Not evidence of "gross spread"(nothing he could see or feel ) the took 2 pieces of. the sentinel lobe that were at highest risk (I guess they put. a die in and it goes to where the cancer is or where it would go) and it went to 2 little grain of sand size places that he took out since that area is at greatest risk to spread.
I am fully confused on all of this frankly. does this mean the cancer went to my nodes or lobes or whatever and also- since my CT came back clear am I in the clear for no spread in my body ?? I am realizing that the serous component of the tumor (which he said was 10%) is really the problem and if little microscope[ic cancers trailed off it I wouldn't even know. pathology is on tues. he said "things are as good as they can be at this point" and "everything is a reassuring as it can be" what the heck - then why dont I have a clue as to what is going on and if I am still in a curable zone! sorry to vent
Hi Dreamweaver
I actually lost a bit of weight before the op but still had an "apron" as it were on the day! Got on the scales after the op and was miffed to see my weight had gone up a bit! Thought they'd removed things, not put them in. My weight's back to what it was before the op now. Think not having any alcohol for some weeks helped - not that I drink that much! My appetite wasn't affected, just the food in hospital apart from the desserts was awful - perhaps that's why I put weight on, don't have desserts often but couldn't resist sultana sponge & crumbles!
Our other 2 dogs seem to have deserted us at the moment - strange atmosphere here!
Can't say I'm looking forward to being "nuked" next week, I keep worrying that my malignant cells are attaching themselves to something, mind's in hyperdrive at the moment.
Take care, Big hugs Barb xx 
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Hi Barb, sorry you're having such a rotten time and no affection from the other 2 dogs, they're probably missing their friend too and sensing your grief.
Try to visualise your body as a gleaming jewel (my name suggests one sandwich short of a picnic!! 
) that's all healthy and visualise a happy future, (I've just been told that this morning by a hypnotherapist). Well I'm going to do it 
 try not to worry, take each day for what it is and try to do a little something you enjoy or imagine doing it. I hear that even false smiles and giggles release endorphins - laughter yoga.
Take care Barb, love N hugs xxx 
Hi Meb70, thankyou, I managed a good night's sleep thanks to banana and Clonazepam! How are you doing now? I hope you're relaxing into life again regardless of the Covid situation lova and happy wiss to you xx
Hi Meb70, I feel very fortunate, the cancer had not spread to the glands or omentum therefore no chemo or radio/Bracheatherapy. I forgot to ask about the staging but I can guess that from the fact i
hadn't spread. So we celebrated with some Baileys in our coffee! Boy, do we know how to live . So just to get on with healing, I still feel pretty rough but getting a little stronger each day. Thankyou for remembering and asking. How is your recovery going? Love and hugs 
 PicNik xx
