Just diagnosed, super anxious!

Hi, my thoughts are with you. It is really scary when you first get diagnosed. I thought I just had a cyst on my ovaries and it turned out that I had cancer in my ovaries, vulva and cervix. I had surgery to remove the first 2 and then I have had 6 rounds of chemo for the cervix.this has shrunk it from 9cm to 5cm. My next step is chemo and radiotherapy combined which should start in August roughly and then brachytherapy. Some people go straight to the latter one, but mine was stage 4 and was attached to the outer walls so needed the chemo first. I did have symptoms prior but my pain increased, some of it I believe is we are more aware and looking for each difference in our bodies etc, also it could be due to affecting other parts of our body, for eg mine was squashing my kidneys, so needed stents put in or could be up against a nerve. Try not to automatically presume the worse, I know that is easier said than done. 

Just because you didn't reach out to the nurse at the time there is nothing stopping you from contacting them now to ask for more guidance. Unfortunately until they get your test results back they will not be able to provide you with definitive answers. Also every case is different and we all have different side effects etc. I keep a little notebook with any questions that come into my mind so when I go to appointments I don't forget as you can be quite emotional at these times. Also take someone with you as you may miss information. Try to build a support group around you as it tends to be a long journey ahead which Unfortunately involves quite a bit of waiting in between different stages of the process. Allow yourself time to be sad, emotional but then try and pick yourself up. Good luck with everything and happy to answer any questions about my personal experience but it could be different for you. 

Take care xx

Thank you so much for replying Pudgy Wombat, it sounds like you are one tough cookie and you are right, it's so easy to predict the worst.  I just keep replaying the doctor saying what he said and I am not sure I can take another bad news delivery from him, I thought doctors were supposed to have a little bit of compassion and empathy! I have left messages for the macmillan nurses at the hospital but they haven't called me back. I will definitely make contact with them at my next appointment.  My husband keeps telling me that we only know what we know right now and I need to keep telling myself that there's all sorts of treatment available but it's the unknown right now that I'm struggling with.  I will definitely get myself a notebook because my brain just went blank on Friday. I hope your next round of chemo goes well, stay strong. Your message has given me hope xx

Hi BBe 

It takes time to process the news that you have cancer and it’s unfortunate that not all doctors possess a good bedside manner! 

Your husband is right in that you only know what you know for now and need more information to see the way ahead. Thoughts are not facts so I’d suggest that you don’t use dr Google for now as it’s likely to frighten you rather than help at this point. The doctor wants to discuss treatment, so it’s not the case that nothing can be done for you.

I think we all imagine all sorts and every little ache and pain has our minds convincing us the cancer has spread but the mind is a powerful thing and can have us thinking all sorts. The unknown is the biggest source of our fear, but things do settle once we have a plan. I think you’ll find it helpful to talk things through with your nurse, but I recognise the fight or flight mode our bodies go into on diagnosis-I was exactly the same.

I haven’t had vulval cancer, but I have had cervical cancer which recurred, and was in my vaginal wall, and I have had my vagina removed along with many other body parts so I’m familiar with treatment and surgery in that area having also had chemo and radiotherapy as my first line of treatment. 

Try to just take things a day at a time for now and not look too far into “what if..”. Once you’ve had your appointment and know what treatment you’ll be having, others will be able to pitch in with their experiences. It does help to have others to chat to and the community is a good source of support. Keep in touch and let us know how things game going.

Sarah xx

Hi sorry for your health issues if you don’t mind me asking where was your lump and how old are you x