Scarring after Surgery

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Hello

I Was diagnosed with vulval cancer in 2020 when I turned 50 and had the tumour removed and also the lymph nodes removed both sides. Recovery was slow but the good news is the cancer was completely removed and no further treatment was needed

due to the location of the tumour (just below the vagina) I was told I needed dialators which I brought and tried and eventually gave up with to enlarge my vagina as the opening is very small due to scar tissue i have not been able to have sex with my husband since surgery and when I received an appointment for a smear and I explained that would not be possible so I had an appointment at the hospital who assessed me for the first time since May 2021.

The hospital have told me that I need a general anaesthetic to have a smear and they can try to remove some of the scar tissue but it may grow back and I may never be able to have sex again. I have been married for 25 years so not exactly at it like rabbits but this has come as a massive shock to me and I don’t know how to tell my husband that we may never be able to make love anymore.

I was not made aware of any of these issues at the time of surgery and now 2 years after I am struggling that I will never be ‘normal’ again

just would like to know if anybody else has these issues and if so what happened ?

thanks in advance

Laura

juliam1 over 2 years ago

Hi Laura,

I had a Vulva tumour removed in 2011 which had spread to lymph nodes, after the OP I did chemo & radiation & have never been able to have sex since I’m afraid due to, like yourself, scar tissue. My husband & I were married since I was 18, it was hard on him, but we found other ways to be intimate & bless him it wasn’t ever an issue.

I also had to have my smear done in hospital, but Consultant did it & he managed it fine.

sorry you are going through this as well, I was never told that this could happen, but since, have known many ladies who have the same issues, where sex is no longer possible.

I lost my beloved husband 2 years ago, so not having sex is not an issue now, I do feel for you & hope your husband will understand xx

Lauraloulou over 2 years ago in reply to juliam1

Thanks so much for your candid response and your honesty…

I am sad to hear you have lost your husband and also glad to hear he was so understanding - I did pluck up the courage to tel him yesterday and he was better than I was about it to be honest. It’s amazing they can still surprise you.

Thanks again for your support

laura x x x

juliam1 over 2 years ago in reply to Lauraloulou

So glad to hear it, you sound as if you have got a good one, and maybe one day things could change, I too gave up on the dilators, it was soooo painful, have you tried a very small vibrator? X

Lauraloulou over 2 years ago in reply to juliam1

To be honest I’ve not tried anything as I’ve been in denial I think and hoping that I would magic myself better.

I am booked in for surgery so I will keep you posted as to how that goes but I’m quite anxious as to whether i should bother as they are saying it might not make any difference and the thought of going under the knife again is not appealing.

I know I should be grateful as some people have been through so much worse - it was just such a shock that this part of my life could be over

thank again for you support

SarahH21 over 2 years ago in reply to Lauraloulou

Hi Lauraloulou

I hope your surgery will be successful and improve things for you-I’m sure it’s a shock when you learn you can’t have penetrative sex any more. I’ve had my vagina removed as part of bigger surgery, so I knew in advance what would happen with me. But I’d rather be alive without cancer, than dead with a vagina! It’s not the end of being intimate though, it’s just in a different way and it’s not been an issue for my partner.

I hope you can find ways to come to terms with this-it’s a massive thing really, I know.

Sarah xx

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Scarring after Surgery