Worried about Lump!

That's amazing your check ups are down to twice a year, so glad for you that your are healing and feeling as well as possible! Yup I gave myself a shake..I think part of me doesn't want to know but I need to get this sorted. I am going back to the gp as soon as I can and I've contacted a private company for a price and timeframe, don't know how I'll afford it but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Could be psychological but I think the hard bit has got much bigger. I've been a bit weepy, I've terrified myself reading blogs and googling. I just don't see how the hard bit could be treated without tough treatment, it's like stone. And my health isn't great in general, small infection 's, even a sore throat is a tough thing for me to heal from, how am I going to fight cancer if that's what it is! Sorry spiralling a bit....xx

I think we sometimes put things off because we don’t want to know-I certainly did. But if I’d gone to the doctor when I first experienced symptoms, my cancer may have been at an earlier stage which could have been dealt with by means of a radical hysterectomy.

My cancer was  “locally advanced” by the time I went, and so I had to go through chemoradiation and life changing surgery but there’s no point in having regrets about that-it is what it is. 

You may have an issue much less serious than cancer, but if it is cancer then the quicker it is diagnosed and treated the better it usually is in terms of outcomes.

I would honestly not recommend googling for your own sanity. You cannot get a diagnosis this way, and most things you will read will be scenarios which will have nothing to do with your own situation. It only serves to increase anxiety while achieving nothing. 

You’ve been unwell for such a long time, you really do need to know what’s wrong and get it sorted out. You should feel much better mentally knowing the reason for your lump and pain. If it’s cancer, you will find coping strategies-it’s not easy for any of us getting a cancer diagnosis but there isn’t really a good alternative to not coping if you want to be better. However, there’s been no indication so far that you have cancer, and until a medical professional tells you otherwise, you don’t have it! Please try and get another appointment, nhs or private, so you can move forward.

Sarah xx

That's a very good way off looking at it! And you do so reassure me! Now is the fun part of getting past the receptionist to talk to the doctor! No joy today so I'll keep trying! Feel drained with the pain but hey ho onwards we go!!! xx

I have tried today to get past a receptionist after literally hours in total being on hold so I wish you luck! I had a very large abscess drained at A&E yesterday where the surgeon told me I must be reviewed by my gp today to check the wound he drained and packed. By the time I finally go through, there were no appointments so I hope you are more successful. I’m left in pain, with a wound which is smelling again, despite showering and changing the dressing. It has this gauze stuff packed into it which needs to be removed, but that needs to be done at the surgery. It’s just a constant battle with them to be seen, despite my medical history and the fact that I had surgery 2 weeks ago. Keep trying!

Sarah xx

That's ridiculous! Wonder if you contacted your initial surgeon's Secretary and explain what's happening would they get a kick up the ass! The surgeon would be furious they're putting you at risk of infection! I know mine kept in contact with my gp 're my thyroid op! If I were you i'd get myself back to a+e..exhausting I know but that wound can't get infected! I'm having a poor me day, my eldest cat Ella has been missing the past 6 days, and it's just not like her, she rarely goes far! I'm heartbroken and generally depressed about everything! I'm sore and I think this bloody lump is growing! One day in fine about it and the next I have it spreading lol! My wife just keeps saying it can't be cancer, you'd be much sicker! I know she's trying to help but I need her to be saying let's bloody well get this sorted!! Anyhow, you camp outside your GP until your seen!! You don't need anymore pain or worry!! Sending you a big hug and head butt from my 8 cats lol!! xx

Hi Jayda 

Thank you for the encouragement and cat head butts! I hate when a puss goes missing, it’s  just horrible so I hope she comes back safe. We had to have one of ours put to sleep the day I went in for my surgery on the 4th so it was very weird coming home and she wasn’t there. I know it was the kindest thing to do, but it’s always tough.

GP saw me yesterday and unpacked my wound. Said I needed more drainage and had to go to A&E immediately-it couldn’t wait. So we went and sat there for 5 hours. Finally saw a consultant but he wouldn’t even check it because it wasn’t an emergency! 

Tried a walk in centre today at yet another hospital where a lovely nurse did manage to get some more out of it but said I needed surgical intervention. She has made me an appointment at yet another hospital tomorrow morning to see someone from the surgical team, so that’s 3 different hospitals in 3 days in 3 different counties! I am so tired and fed up of it all. 

Your wife needs to be encouraging you to push for more action I think. You really need to get this sorted out. It’s hard to be living with something unexplained that’s causing you so many issues. 

Sarah xx

Oh no!! What is wrong with ppl!! Are they going to wait until you develop sepsis and then treat you!! Cross on your behalf lol! A+E is a total shambles, I am really hoping you're on the way to getting it sorted, it's the last thing you needed! Sorry to hear about your cat, just awful when you have to let them go, they're such a part off the family! Still no sign off our Ella but still hopeful! No appointment yet for me! But I had a physio session today for my left side weakness (caused by FND episodes) and I'm all pleased I didn't think they would do anything for it but they are trying to get it stronger, plus I've to get MRI's done, this consultant seems very thorough! Pity they weren't all like that!! Yes I think my family have become a bit 'immune ' to things that are happening to me, as there always seems to be something! Plus the FND diagnosis doesn't help! Anyhow, really hope you're getting some ease and rest! xx

Hi Jayda 

So, after 4 hospital visits and one gp visit since Sunday, I have finally been able to see someone who could help me. Had a lovely nurse yesterday manage to do a lot without me needing to get another incision and drain done, which I was very thankful about because that is really painful. It was very sore but I told her to keep going! I then had a surgeon come a take a look and he says things look fine and my would should drain further now a lot of infection has been removed and it should heal. He told me it wasn’t anything to worry about, which was the best thing.

We will just deal with the wound now at home-I have been given gauze to pack it and more dressings, but won’t be able to do it myself. I’ve got a trusty wife who is unfazed by this sort of stuff who will be in charge! 

I’m so sorry your Ella is not back yet. Of our 2 remaining cats, one doesn’t go further than the back garden and one is a house at so hopefully they will never disappear but we’ve lost a few over the years who never came home.

Hope your physio is helpful and it’s good to have a thorough consultant. So many people are getting fobbed off these days-it’s really shocking, But I’d want to keep chasing your gynae appointment. Hope you can enjoy the weekend. 

Sarah xx

Oh brilliant! You're finally getting there! Hopefully it will now be plain sailing for you, fingers crossed!! Wive's can be quite useful at times lol! Hectic at the moment, well everyone else is as I'm directing them what to do!! There's a couple off ppl wanting to rent the spare room on a more permanent basis...But I don't know, I'll have to see, financially it would be great! But i'd rather get myself sorted first! Wife panicking a bit now that I don't have a foreseeable appointment and was wanting me to go to a+e but I was saying there isn't really any point for gynae related as they're more than likely to send me home to take painkillers! My best bet is to get to speak to my doctor next week or maybe even any doctor at this rate! Pain isn't improving, and it is getting bigger when it fills now, not much room down below.The only reassuring thing is I do think part of it is a cyst as it tends to go up and down, and I believe it is rare for those to be cancerous! Anyhow onwards and upwards!! xx

Hi Jayda 

I’m doing much better now thankfully, but it was such a struggle to get help last week. You have to keep pushing, trying different options until finally you get what you need but it’s utterly exhausting. I don’t think they would be able to do much at A&E to be honest, and the strikes have made things even harder. Certainly at my local hospital they were rightly focusing on real emergencies only, like chest pains and ambulances dropping off patients.

I have an appointment this week to follow up with the breast clinic as my abscess was on the side of my boob and close to my underarm but hoping it’s just to check all is healing well. The surgeon I saw at the surgical unit was a breast surgeon and he wasn’t concerned. My last mammogram was clear so I’m keeping my fingers crossed! I want a break from hospitals. 

I don’t think I could cope with a lodger! I do like my own space, and I don’t really like people being in the house-I didn’t even like having the cleaner in when I had one! But it is a good extra source of cash, and if you have all the ground rules in place then it could be helpful financially. 

But keep chasing up to get yourself sorted first so you can put this issue to bed once and for all. I don’t know how you’re coping with this pain and worry going on for so long. 

Sarah xx