Hello everyone, I was diagnosis with stage 1, grade 3 TNBC on my wedding anniversary. I am one cycle through carboplatin and taxal chemo.
I have carbo/taxal week 1, then just taxal for weeks 2 and 3. Due to start EC after 4 rounds of this.
Haven’t lost any hair yet, but I feel like I’m losing myself. I am so tired and breathless, but find it so hard to rest or field peacefully, despite taking half a zopiclobe every night. I can’t bear the thought of waking in the early hours with only my thoughts as company. I have 2 kids, and 11 year old girl with ADHD who is starting senior school in September and a little boy, 7. And quite frankly a pretty useless and detached husband.
Before my diagnosis, I did everything at home. He can just about throw some frozen chips in the oven, but is then always too preoccupied to check that they don’t burn. I have had the odd good day where I can do stuff, and some days I almost feel normal, but today is a bad day. Does anyone else struggle with breathlessness? It makes me panic. Plus I have developed a fatty lump at the bottom of my neck which feels like it’s sitting on my wind pipe. The fatty lump is from port Cath insertion, but it’s not going.
I feel so sad today, and most days, if I’m honest. I don’t want my life to change! I want to go back to work, and be normal and have a laugh, but I just can’t today. I can’t find a positive. I find chemo hard.
Hi Sunshine77
I am sorry you are going through this, especially with what sounds like a difficult family situation. It’s always worth reporting side effects and things of concern back to your oncology team, as there are often things they can do. Chemo is hard but you will get through it. Keep a symptom diary so you can see the patterns in the cycles and plan round them. Wishing you all the best.
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I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission
Thank you so much for your reply. I have just read your story - what a journey. I can only imagine how tough things have been for you. But you’re certainly a fighter and a shining light bringing positivity for others. Thank you 
