Diagnosed TNBC and in limbo waiting for first appointment with oncologist.

Hi there

So sorry you've had this news. I was diagnosed with stage 1, grade 3 TNBC in November. I had a lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy in December with clear results and am just awaiting an oncology appointment to discuss adjuvant chemotherapy, then I'm looking at radiotherapy later down the line.

When I was first diagnosed, I was due to start a new job the following week and decided I was going to be that super woman who does the new job and lives her life totally as normal alongside kicking cancer's butt! I kept this up for a couple of weeks then one day had a full on meltdown where I just cried for the entire morning. And I realised that everything was different now but I was trying to behave as though it wasn't. 

I was surprised how much I'd changed as a person in such a short space of time, but I've realised that I'm actually now just being on the outside who I've always been on the inside and that my whole life has been mostly spent pretending to be something I'm not to please people in order to keep myself safe.

I realise this is pretty deep for early on a Friday morning but the part of your post about usually being the person in control really resonated with me. If there is anything I think cancer teaches most people, it's that your control is limited and sometimes just accepting and allowing is the strongest thing you can do.

I hope you find some good support both on here and out there and wish you the very best in your treatment x

Thank you so much for your lovely message. It really meant a lot to me. Reading your words made me feel understood in a way that’s hard to explain, and it helps knowing someone who’s been through this truly gets it. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this too, but I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and share your support. I hope your chemotherapy goes well and Thanks for your support.

I have been living with metastatic TNBC since 2022 so have experienced the sickening feeling of news you don’t want several times along my “journey”. The feeling of being out of control is horrible, particularly when your life is normally more ordered. It does get to feel more normal once you have a treatment plan. The fear of the unknown, and of treatment itself, settles over time. I am sorry to hear it has spread to your lymph nodes. There are more treatments available these days and your oncologist will have a plan. Despite being stage 4 and therefore technically incurable, I have had a stable remission for 2.5 years without needing further treatment. I couldn’t imagine this excellent outcome during the time when the bad news kept spiralling. Wishing you all the best. 

Oh thank you so much for your message, it’s reassuring to hear from you that it does settle down once there’s a plan in place. I’m so grateful I joined this platform just to be able to hear from kind people like yourself. Wishing you all the best. Xx

Hi! 

I’m so sorry you’ve had this news and can understand how you’re feeling. 
I got the same diagnosis as you 5 weeks ago yesterday and felt like my world imploded. For the first 3 weeks I was on an emotional rollercoaster - fearing the worst and having waves of panic/nausea, waking up in the night crying, feeling guilty that I’ve caused the cancer because of my life choices, then feeling like I needed to think positively otherwise I won’t get through it… it’s completely overwhelming! 
I was also really anxious about telling my family and friends - especially my 11 year old daughter - as I didn’t want to cause them the unavoidable upset and worry but I was due to start chemo 4 weeks after my diagnosis so I had to do it. That was awful initially but everyone has been so lovely and supportive and I feel much less alone with it all now. 
I’ve had so many tests, scans and procedures in the last 7 weeks and had my second chemo yesterday so it’s been really full on but I am feeling much calmer this week - I think because treatment has started and I know what the plan is for now it feels a bit more manageable.

Wishing you all the best with your treatment and sending hugs. Emma x

Emma, THANK YOU so much for your hugs and kind words. Hearing from someone in the same situation means so much and it’s truly appreciated as you have so much going on at the moment.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and sincerely sending you and your daughter healthy and healing hugs right back to you. It’s so good to hear that your treatment is underway and you feel calmer. 
I do think the waiting is the hardest part to navigate and I’m sure I’ll feel calmer too once I know I’m fighting the cancer. You’ve inspired me to take the time and effort to help others in my situation when I can. 

good luck Emma and wishing you the best Leanne xx

Yes I agree, the waiting is the worst and I hope things move quickly for you. 
Reach out any time if you want to chat or have any questions I might be able to help with as I’m a bit ahead of you. I’ve sent you a friend request just in case so you can find me easily x

Oh that’s great and I’ve just accepted your friend request. 
I’d like to offer the same support to you too Emma. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night if you’d like to chat or rant or anything, I’ll be here for you xxx