mum of a daughter with grade3 TNBC and new here

Hi QuoVadis 

I was diagnosed with grade 3 TNBC 3 years ago. While actually at the chemo unit I'd recommend giving her things that she can do to occupy her time, as you're there for several hours. So does she like to read, do puzzles, etc? I didn't need to take in food or drink as this was offered on the chemo ward.

For afterwards, when I was having EC, it was nice to just be able to relax without the worry of getting meals or having to do housework, shopping, etc. So maybe, if she lives on her own, you could do these things for her.

Anne

I also have TNBC but I am an older woman and a mum. I can totally understand how you all feel and that you want to make things a little easier on her. You sound like an amazing mum and someone your daughter will be able to talk to and share things with. 

I've had surgery so far no chemo, so readingxall the tips for the box is a great idea.

Kick cancers a___.

The chemo unit will have recliner chairs equipped with pillows, plus blankets should be available. If she is cold capping, she might want her preferred brand of leave in conditioner plus a headband to protect her forehead (the inner layer of the system will leave marks on her forehead otherwise), and a scarf to wrap around her hair afterwards. Other than that, a flask of water and anything she might want to entertain / distract herself with whilst she is there - it takes a long time. 

Hi there,

Things that I found useful during chemo:

• A good natural cuticle oil/castor oil as chemo, particularly taxol, can dry out and damage nails and so I would add oil to my cuticles each morning and night (fingers and toes) to keep them hydrated
• Also silicium enriched nail polishes and a very natural remover to further nourish the nails and protect them from UV rays (again this was particularly when receiving taxol)
• If she isn't cold capping, then a nice light scalp oil is good to keep the scalp hydrated and promote healthy regrowth
• A nice hat for the sun - again chemo can make you make you more sensitive to the sun, so a hat with a nice brim was a life-line on sunny days when I had to go out
• A pocket sized sudoku book also kept me occupied during many occasions in the waiting room and was easy to slip into any bag. 

I used a lot of 'Meme' products (designed by and for cancer patients), but there are plenty of others out there.

When I actually had chemo, I was given steroids for anti-sickness and it made me so drowsy, so I would often sleep most of the time and never needed to take much! 

More important than any 'thing', is simply just to be there for her, go out for walks, help out around the house if she needs, pre-prepare some nutritious meals for her if she needs, listen to her when she needs to vent, comfort her when she's scared and be scared together. It's a scary time for all the family, and it's wonderful that she has so much love and support in you :) 

One other thing that my mum was also very good at was acting as a control centre. Whenever I had scans, operations, big appointments, she would communicate with many of my friends to let them know how things went so I didn't have the pressure to send a million messages when I wasn't feeling up to it (because then everyone replies and it's never ending!). It's a small detail, but honestly, it helped so much!

I wish your daughter and you and your family the best of luck on this unfortunate journey xx