Just been diagnosed today, 2 children,single mum,scared for my future

I'm 44, I have 2 boys aged 14 and 10 and I have just been diagnosed with IDC grade 3,triple negative breast cancer.

I'm at the beginning of this journey and I admit it, I'm scared that this will beat me. I've got to have chemo followed by surgery +/- radiotherapy,  I'm a single parent and I honestly don't know how I will get through this. Will I live to see my boys become adults, I just want to be there for them and it breaks my heart that I may not be.  They depend on me, I'm their constant, I promised tthem i'll always be there and now it's all been ripped away. I don't know what to do 

  • Hi Rachel091819

    Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with grade 3 triple negative breast cancer.  Even though this is a more aggressive form of breast cancer it is very treatable.  Your medical team will throw everything at it to make sure that you come out of the other side of this.

    Please don't google triple negative breast cancer as the information on this breast cancer is at least five years out of date. Rely on sites like this one and Breast Cancer Now for your information as it's much more up to date.  I myself was diagnosed with grade 3 triple negative breast cancer nearly three years ago and after having chemo, surgery and radiotherapy I made a complete recovery.

    Might I suggest that you also join our supportive Breast Cancer Forum as it's a much busier forum than this one and I and many other ladies and gents with triple negative are also members of that forum.  Here's the link: Breast cancer forum .

    I'll also going to give you the link to the supports you can access from Macmillan.:Emotional, financial and physical help for people with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support The helpline on 0808 808 00 00 is open seven days a week from 8 am to 8 pm.  You can also e-mail Macmillan or chat online.  If it's something you'd like to do Macmillan can arrange counselling for you through BUPA.  Also if it's something you like to do Macmillan can pair you up with someone who has had a similar diagnosis to yourself and they will keep in regular contact with you.

    Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

    Best wishes

    Daisy53

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi let me give you some hope and advice. I too had TNBC and  , lymph node involvement I did have 6months chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and 6 months more of chemo. Then  a hysterectomy. There wasn’t a day of treatment that I couldn’t manage to do something useful. My advice is take a walk every day even if it is just to the corner of your road. It will help your body metabolism and people will talk to you. Don’t deprive yourself of the things you enjoy eg if you like a drink have a little one. Look for local support group who will give you emotional support and top tips Find yourself a massage therapist that is oncology trained. 
    only deal with the treatment you are having at the time not the next step if you do it seems like a long road. 
    Trust your children let them feel/be useful to you. 
    Daisy 53 gave you the most useful bit of advice do not Google tnbc instead buy a book called A survivor’s guide to tnbc all you need to know by a lady called Michele solak edwards. 
    j hope this is useful. 
    I ought to add I am 3 yrs on and lead a normal life but I appreciate it far more now and I know I am loved by my friends. There are positives 

  • I got diagnosed last year (age 50) with lymph involvement. Had 2 teenage kids. I was a mess at first, but when a treatment plan was in place everything (and everyone) became calmer. I’ve done the iv chemo, surgery, radio and oral chemo now. It’s been a busy year, but I have got through it. I met friends once a week for coffee, done on-line yoga/art classes/sound therapy with a cancer charity to keep my mind off things (never did them before but gave me something to do). I also asked a parent to help me with school meetings I couldn’t attend, they would fill me in after at home. You will get through this and the year will fly! As for the kids, after a rocky start they got used to it all and it is now a new normal. We also got a puppy to keep us busy. Best of luck on your journey. X

  • I have metastatic TNBC, spread to my liver. Whilst I have to organise my life around treatment, I live a normal life, and hang on to hope that things will remain stable. It’s always best to take it one day at a time. If I had known at the beginning the journey I was on, it would have been overwhelming. As it is, each stage has been doable. There has been sadness at times as I have come to terms with what is happening, but also a lot of joy. It must be especially tough as a single parent, and of course you do need to make sure arrangements are in place should the worst happen, but please try to focus on getting through each day and on not worrying about what might or might not be.