How do I support my best friend?

  • 2 replies
  • 24 subscribers
  • 451 views

Hi, 

My best friend has just been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at age 28, with 2 small children. Our worlds have fallen apart. 

She is super human and so strong, but I am lucky to be her person and the one that she tends to be more vulnerable with. I am looking for guidance on how best to support her through her treatment plan (chemo, mastectomy, radiotherapy). . Anything I can do to ease the slightest weight?

Also any guidance in how you cope with watching someone you love so much go through something so traumatic, as at this moment in time it’s too much for me to even comprehend. I know I need to be strong for her and I know that I will be, but behind closed doors I feel so numb and heartbroken. 

Thinking of anyone who has been diagnosed or is too supporting a loved one x

  • As a TNBC patient I would say take your lead from her on what she wants, but she probably needs a mix of practical support (eg with the children) as well as emotional support. I also prefer people to treat me like a normal person, none of the head on one side “how are you today” stuff. I tell people I am not ill, just experiencing the side effects of chemo. She is lucky to have your support. 

  • I am so sorry for your friend and her family such a young age. Unfortunately cancer does not have any age restrictions.

    I totally agree with Coddfish allow her to be in control and her body will dictate what she needs. I bet she’s more worried about her children than herself. The main thing is to stay positive. 

    Trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was diagnosed May 2021 at 66 so a lot older than your friend. I had 6 rounds of chemo every 3 weeks followed by surgery in October and my meeting in November with my consultant he informed me I was cured. January I had precautionary radiotherapy high dose over 5 days. Some trusts do 5 days over 3 weeks.with lower dosage. 

    usually around day 3 of chemo that’s when the side effects kick in and lasted for me a week to 10 days that’s when she’ll need you. Hopefully she may not get too many side effects. I guess you have done some reading about the side effects and have a rough idea what to expect. I found having iced lollies in the freezer really refreshing and I could only drink hot chocolate. I know it’s difficult but it’s essential she drinks plenty of water to flush the chemo through. 

    Well done you for being so supportive she will probably talk to you as it’s easier rather than her immediate family. The main thing is to stay positive   And be there for her. The site again is really supportive and great to chat with people who truly understands what your friend and you are going through.

    very best wishes Lebs