Increase in tumour size after Chemo

Hi there,

I now have an iPad which is marginally easier than my phone!
I hope you have had a good weekend. How has the pain been. I do hope you have managed to get some help in this area as I’m sure it can be totally overwhelming. 
Have you found anything to help at home. I know people suggest mindfulness, but if you’re like me, I can’t get my head round it! Just find ing something to distract for a few minutes can be a blessing.  I started with a counsellor (who sounds about 16!) who told me how to breath (I’m a trained singer!!!). I wanted someone I could cry to. I do find that breathing techniques help a little when my anxiety rockets in the middle of the night. She also suggested the Butterfly hug on YouTube, which uses tapping. Again, I’ve not found this helpful but it may help?? She also talked about the 54321 technique which sometimes helps me. Think of a scene, 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear etc etc

My brother in law loaded an app for me which was devised for US traumatised war veterans. I’ve only had this for a few days and it has all sorts of things on it......things to listen to, look at, all different timings. When I get home on Wednesday I’ll see what it’s called for you. Even if it has one thing which may help.....

the best thing for me has been Jack Dee. I love his sense of humour so I’ve googled everything of his online. He actually makes me laugh out loud and managed to distract me occasionally. My ability to really laugh has disappeared recently. Bill Bryson’s Little Dribbling as an Audio book also made me laugh. Do you like being read to? They say this is something we all love but lose after primary school.

im sure I’ve forgotten something but just wanted to reply to you. I hope you can sort out this pain and get some decent respite as it can be so mentally and physically exhausting.

TNBC is rubbish isn’t it? If anyone tells me again about the advances in Breast cancer, I think I might just swing for them. 

take care,

Himalaya

Hi Himalaya

Was reading your note to FaithDe.  At least you are trying to help yourself with the anxiety and fears but it is extremely hard.  I must admit I didn't try any of the suggestions you mentioned but I personally found getting out in nature helped, visiting the nearby park where they keep deer, donkeys, goats etc really helped me to take my mind off things for a while and a gentle walk and fresh air really helped.  Also I have two pet cats and they gave me comfort and were a distraction.  They sat outside the bathroom door while I was being sick, in their way they seem concerned about me.  My husband was an immense support I don't know how I would have manged without him, do you have a family member or close friend you can talk to?  Macmillan also have a support phone number which I called a couple of times.  I also found my local hospital very supportive and gave me suggestions to try and help, they did offer me a counsellor but I didn't take up the offer.  I nearly did when I thought there was no hope but after the operation and I was told the cancer hadn't spread I felt more confident in the treatment.  I do hope some of these suggestions may help you.  TNBC is rubbish and I know some people's comments can be annoying, some people don't know what to say.  Take care and sending lots of hugs.

Hi there,

thanks for getting back. I agree about getting out into nature. You’re lucky  to have somewhere so close and have some cats. Sweet they understood you were suffering. 
I have my Mum and sister staying alternate weeks which is angriest help but I can’t offload my emotions as I’m upsetting them too much. I think I’ll try CBT and see if it helps.

good you have heard that there is no spread…..a huge relief I’m sure.

keep in touch

Himalaya 

Hi Himalaya and Coco66 

Hope you are both keeping your positive spirits up.  I'm in hospital on the 4th night.  As the tumour was increasing the pain has also been increasing.  I'm hoping to start a new chemo drug tomorrow and also receive input from the palliative pain team how to manage the pain going forward.  I will update you when I finally get home and able to use a computer.

Sending virtual hugs back to you both xx

I’d like to send a virtual hug to all of you xx

And sending virtual hugs to you too Marie54 xx

Oh I'm  so sorry to hear you are in hospital but good you're being well looked after and hopefully resting a little bit. Let's hope this new chemo drug works its magic asap for you

Himalaya x

Hi

Sorry to hear this. Yes I was originally diagnosed with 35 mm single tumour and one lymph node affected. After scans I was told I have 85mm and scatters of cancerous tissue all over right breast. Plus suspected in left. The left turned out to be nothing. My plan changed from lumpectomy to full mastectomy of right breast and node clearance (which was always on the cards). My genetic testing came back negative so at the moment it's single mastectomy. I am totally expecting the left breast to come back infected and have a double instead. Which to be honest I think I would prefer. 

Hope your treatment change does the trick. I have seen so many positive stories of pax working a treat. I have had 4 docetaxel carbo and one FEC. I have one more FEC to go. After the second doc carbo my lump disappeared and my nipple came out again. 

Fingers x for you. 

Heidi

That sounds positive... what a relief for you.

I've got everything crossed for the next round.....

Hi FaithDe

How is the new chemo drug going?  I hope you have the pain under control?  Always thinking of you and all us ladies going through this awful ordeal, sending hugs x