Worried Husband (it’s not about us)

I have TNBC. Double mastectomy was never discussed with me - I think it is usually only something that is considered if you have BRCA gene defects. The NHS is very reluctant to take away healthy tissue unless there is a clear risk/benefit. Gene defects aside, a lumpectomy plus radiotherapy is clinically likely to result in similar recurrence risk as a mastectomy, and is of course a much easier operation to get over. If cancer were to occur in the other breast that’s not likely to be recurrence. 

My experience hasn’t included recurrence but I did have secondary spread to my liver via vascular evasion from the original tumour. 

Hi sorry to hear yous are going through this.Myself and partner were the same when I was diagnosed stage 1b grade 3 . I just wanted them gone, my initial thought was survival not attraction thankfully my partner was in the same frame of mind,but I do get what your saying I think though if yous are together 17 years yous will be grand. its funny though my though process shifted after speaking with the surgeon, he advised that research now suggests that a lumpectomy with radiation after is as effective as a mastectomy. I got a lumpectomy but I still wonder though how it will all pan out in years to comes but I trusted the professionals. But please make sure yous ask all these questions about recurrence n differences which I'm sure yous will when the time comes.I should also note that my lumpectomy is barely noticable as the lump had shrank with the chemo and immunotherapy before surgery.so one side is just a tad bit smaller ,my partner recons they were always like that,so it's good he doesn't notice any difference.

All the very best of luck to your wife now,it il be a tough year for you both,but she will do great, please God.

Thank you for your post. I am BRACA2 carrier and so could have a double mastectomy with breast reconstruction. I had implants.  My husband and I talked about the effect this operation was on my self esteem and attraction. It was very stressful.  We were offered couple counselling through the Dimbleby Cancer Centre at Guy's hospital.  This was very helpful and helped us navigate the journey.

Nothing was easy about the journey.  I was clear that I didn't want to go flat but respect women who make this choice.

Keep talking and I am sure you will work your way through your journey