Just diagnosed

Hi Tezzie.

Welcome. It will all be a blur to you for some time. I was 1st diagnosed 18 years ago...all went well until 1year ago I was diagnosed again with breast cancer triple negative in the other breast..

Please take one step at a time try NOT to read to much on Google.. it can be so confusing..

Have they said what they are doing?  I.e...surgery...chemo..radio..? If you can take some one with you and write down all the questions you want to know..even if they sound stupid..ask! 

It is very scary if you haven't been through this before but if your like me I like to know everything!! Some don't but I think you can prepare for any treatment  etc...

Goodluck.. 

We are strong..

We are survivors ..

Elaine..

Hi Elaine thank you for replying, it was all a huge shock, obviously my first thought was I am going to die, and then I am ok then back again to an emotional wreck, I am planned to have the lump removed and a margin which I got was healthy tissue, then 4 weeks later begin chemotherapy, I just can’t believe this is happening right now,

Hi Tezzie.

I understand completely... it's so hard to take everything in.. the emotions you will go through from " what am I gonna tell my family".. to is this for real...or am I gonna survive this... 

Take one step at a time.. do you have kids? Siblings? My 1st time round I was 42 and I thought I could manage on my own.. I got through it..it's a long haul but you need to stay positive...

This time round I was 60 last year and I did except all the help I was offered...I took time out from work (which I'm a nurse in our hospital) 

Tezzie let it all sink in slowly.. talk to family and your Macmillan  nurse about everything ..

I wish you well and all the luck.. let me know how you get on...big hugs.xx

Hi, yes I have 2 girls and a close family, I feel I am more concerned for them at the moment, it is very strange how your mind works isn’t it?  I have been trying to go over what the consultant has said and I  do not know if I made the right decision on treatment as to a lump removal or mastectomy it all seemed to be happening very quick, will I have a chance to discuss this again? Do I have a Macmillan nurse?  I am anyhow. I hate the fact that  that I was so convinced it was nothing that I told people I would be fine, I did not need anyone to come with me for results, I guess once I am over the initial shock I can become the strong person i need to be, is this how you felt?  Xxx

I am 71, no children, husband died 2 years ago as a result of docetaxel for prostate cancer causing pulmonary fibrositis - so a very different situation. I have only told a small circle of friends and my relations - who do not live near me. I haven't wanted to be seen as a cancer sufferer - and covid isolation has made it easy to conceal that I have had an operation -lumpectomy - and now having radiotherapy. i refused chemo. Maybe I will tell more people later on. I didn't want constant enquiries that could make me cry. 

You have plenty of opportunity to take time to decide - tell the doctors you need to go through the information again and slowly - read a book such as ' the complete guide to breast cancer'.

I changed my mind from starting with chemo to not having it at all.

Even on arrival for the operation or radiotherapy they ask if you want to proceed.

Everything about it is frightening.

People have been very helpful to me - driving me to the hospital, talking it over etc.

With the virus crisis no one can come in with me to the hospital apts.

Take a notebook with your questions and to write things down and when in phone consultations.

Very best wishes.

I am really sorry you are on your own that must be very difficult, I understand about you not telling too many people because it does start all the emotions again,  was there a reason you did not want chemo? That is the plan for me at the moment following the lumpectomy. I am sending you lots of virtual hugs xx

I did not want chemo because it killed my husband. 

I know I am a different person etc.etc.-its a rare reaction-- but the statistical advantage from it was 8% for me - the side effects I have seen -the usual ones of hair loss, exhaustion, loss of taste, constipation, etc. because my husband was sick with all these for a week each month of chemo-it was the fifth month that killed him-he got breathing problems and chills-we went to the hospital-they tried what they could for 2 weeks in intensive care and he lasted one more week in there when  they apologized that there was nothing they could do--when life became so horrible that he removed his breathing mask and died. he was on morphine, could not eat, hard to speak. In addition 'palliative' care woman urged him to choose to die a few days before he was ready to die. I made a complaint about her utter callousness afterwards.

If my husband was alive and well maybe I would choose chemo, having a loving partner to care for me as he had. As it is the thought of ruining the next 6 months of my life with chemo is not one I want-I know a lot of people who had it and they still died of cancer. Its not the dying I mind now-but of course the suffering involved.

You have children so maybe you want to take every option that might help in any way.

Yes. I felt the same.. its normal to have all these emotions going on...yes ask questions again and again..

My 1st breast cancer I had a lumpectomy. Chemo and radio.. lymph nodes were clear. every body copes differently to treatment.. I cancelled my chemo I had 6 out of 8 sessions..I was too poorly.. last year when when got breast cancer in the other breast I had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy with boosters.. the fatigue is something you will have and will definitely need to rest. Talk your options through . Take someone with you to be your ears and write things down.

Goodluck.. thinking of you.

Hi are they allowing you to take someone with you during COVID? I think the thought of having to go alone for treatment is making me fret more xx

Hi Tezzie. 

 Let them know that you need someone with you coz your mind won't take everything in.. wearing a mask and distancing should be fine. We see patients now with a family member.

 Let me know how you get on. 

They are starting doing surgeries again now.. nothing worse than having to wait too long.

We are survivors...

We are strong....

Your NOT on your own....

Elaine