Hello. When will I stop being so angry and start accepting? So out if character but I'm struggling to get over the diagnosis. Diagnosed in March, surgery in April and chemo May, June, July...Thanks
I was diagnosed in November 2019. I still haven't accepted it. I've just had surgery and awaiting pathology report to see if I need further surgery or radiotherapy. I've struggled with my mindset. I've sent a friendship request if you want to private message we can support each other. I know how you are feeling.
Anger is so very common but often not talked about, so well done for wanting to open up about this.
Anger mostly surfaces due to having your life thrown into 'Out of Control' mode, being forced to change your lifestyle to fit around your cancer, enduring countless treatments (and their side effects) and wondering if will this have a knock on effect for their future :-/
Acceptance for some can come on fairly soon after treatment starts; unfortunately for quite a few it can take ages to get your head around the why me and the emotional what the heck is going on syndrome.
If you find you are angry most of the time or it is starting to affect your life, you may find it helpful to talk to a counsellor or psychologist to help get over this hurdle. Have you mentioned to your GP how this is affecting you, or just battled on hoping it will resolve itself ?
You could give the Macmillan freephone line a ring on 0800 808 0000 and have a chat with one of the nurses to see if they can give you some pointers as to what support may be available through your GP.
Hope this is of some help to get you into the headspace you would prefer, G n' J
Its ok to be angry, in fact i would say its good to be angry.
I never felt angry while having treatment but once my treatment had finished and i'd got the all clear BANG then i did get angry.
I got angry with people who complained about having tennis elbow, i got angry with people who complained about little things, i got angry because why did it have to happen to me.
Took me a while to understand and accept that no one really understands how you feel or how things change. DON'T keep it in, let it out and come talk to us, we totally get you and hopefully it will help to off load.
You say its out of character, people won't understand how it changes you. Everyone sees me as the happy smiler always laughing. I'm not that person anymore but it doesn't mean that we can't be again.
Don't be too hard on yourself and take it easy. You've come so far xx
I am angry that n all the years of being told my mammograms were fine I was never told I had 'dense brests' and the mammograms would not show the cancer.
if the mammograms would not show cancer why did they still do them?? I'd maybe speak to your breast care nurse, she'll maybe be able to answer your questions and put your mind at rest some what.
I've just looked at your profile, have you spoke to your oncologist about your concerns with Docetaxel? I had docetaxel and they lowered my dose for the last 2 treatments i had.
Come and join us angry bunch and we can hopefully help each other out xxx keep talking xxx
Docetaxl was not suggested for me so far. I am having a lumpectomy soon but actually suffering Bladder infection and waiting for test results so feeling wretched just now and hoping pain killers work. I am still hoping not to have chemo as I have seen not only it kill my husband but be so debilitating. How was yours?
Hiya mine was ok, difficult at times but doable and i came out the other side with no lasting effects. It did what it was meant to do and shrunk my 6cm tumor so small that it couldn't be seen on an MRI.
I had chemo and then surgery so maybe if you're having surgery first you won't need it.
My anger hit this weekend when I went and actually looked to see what triple negative actually meant. And being a Christian i had an extra anger!! I was angry at them not doing surgery first when it was so small and now has grown, angry that the drs have not been open and honest with me, angry at my personal circumstances, angry at the nhs system being affected by Covid, angry that Covid had taken away my support system with family and friends, and angry at God for allowing this to happen.
However this week, I have been helped by the people on here, helped by a Christian counselor who I set up before I started treatment and knows me of old with my depression and see every three weeks,helped by distanced friends who drop off shopping and stay in touch by text, and in a way helped by my faith because the anger has made me rethink why I am a Christian and where I can get strength from.
So ladies keep up the encouragement. I've simmered down and am now carrying on with my chemo which I wanted to give up and am coming to terms with my diagnosis. That doesn't mean the anger may not rear it's head again - who knows!!
So R1chard, I hope you find someway of helping with your anger and get to turn it around.
