Chemotherapy means I now can't have children

FormerMember
FormerMember
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I'm wondering whether anyone else has had to deal with the fact that Chemotherapy means I am now not able to have kids of my own?

I was offered IVF prior to starting treatment, but have been through it before and to be completely honest, the idea of delaying cancer treatment at the time was just not what I wanted to do.

The reality for me is that Chemotherapy is just the nail in the coffin  as I have had multiple miscarriages and IVF prior to the cancer diagnosis so the likelihood is it would never have worked out for me, but I'm really struggling to deal with the black hole that never being a mum has left me with.  I don't know how to fill that hole and with what.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hey

    I am so sorry that you find yourself here lovely but you will find great strength + support from all the amazing ladies within the community Slight smile

    I was diagnosed with TNBC in Nov + informed that I would have to basically render myself infertile due to the chemo (I am 43). My situation is slightly different in that I am lucky that I do have a 5-year-old little boy but, my husband + I have been trying for the last 4 years to add another child + I have suffered from recurrent miscarriage - we have lost 6 babies in that time + were about the embark on IVF as a last-ditch attempt when the diagnosis came through + shattered my world.  I also made the decision not to delay cancer treatment for IVF when it was also discovered that it had spread to my lymph nodes :( The extent is still unconfirmed at the moment.  This was heart + still is the most heart-wrenching but I get through it by focusing on surviving now + beating this Muscle tone1 And you will get stronger.

    It is definitely hard to think about future options + decisions now when we have to get ourselves through cancer but it doesn't mean you won't be a mummy.  There are other options out there you can look at it if you want to + when you are ready but none of those options are possible unless you are well + healthy lovely.

    I wish there was something more that I could say to make it feel better but I know there isn't.  I didn't want you to think that you were alone Heart️ If you ever want to chat, let me know.

    Sending you all the love + strength xxx

  • Try not to think about such things now and focus on what you want to get well. The most important thing now is to set yourself a goal to live an ordinary life, and you will certainly succeed. I didn't have chemotherapy, but I underwent surgery to remove uterine fibroids at 20 and have been infertile ever since. When I met the man I married, we turned together to fosterplus.org, and they became foster parents of wonderful twins. Think about the fact that you, too, if you cannot give birth yourself, will be able to give maternal love to orphans who need this love so much.