Follow-up tests

It's a really crappy time. So close to knowing it's all fine but with a great big cloud of doubt hanging over you. And all the while from the outside you look 'normal' to those around you.

It's really up to you how you want to handle it and nobody else can tell you what's right for you. On the one hand, a lot of people want to carry on as if everything is hunky dory and say nothing to their colleagues because admitting to a fear by telling people can make it feel much more real. On the other hand, some people want to tell others 'Hey, I might look fine and indeed I might BE fine, but right now I'm really struggling with the stress of all this'.

I would suggest to speak to your boss - even if you don't tell everybody else. If you think you might be needing some time off, or you might be letting it impact your work, it's useful that somebody knows what you're going through. But of course, you need to decide what's right for you.

Hi Barbara.

Thank you very much for your reply.

My boss already knows as I'm going to have to take some time off work for the tests the week after next, but maybe I haven't really explained that I'm stressed out about it and maybe I should make her aware of that.

About a week before any treatment or appointments I seem to get the heebie jeebies, so I'm right on track!...

Thanks Barbara.

All the best,

Ajs

I doubt you'll find anybody in this or any of the other cancer forum groups who doesn't get wobbly when they are waiting for tests or results. Even the strongest will have those little 'what if' voices going around their brains.

Try to cut your colleagues a little bit of slack. They only think you're fine and dandy because you're doing a great job convincing them (and perhaps yourself) that it's the case.  Showing a little vulnerability is always a risk, of course. But fingers crossed you'll get good results and then you can get back to being what you've been trying to be.

Hya Ajs

Just wanted to say snap lol.

Like you i have taken time out from the site partly to get back to normality and also due to fact dad recently died of cancer.

I just had my 6 month blood results after RAI and they came back undetectable yipee.

Still being suppressed and now have neck scan in June too.

I can totally sympathise with you I look great so everyone says but still get tired days and like you bit nervous but consultant states probability of any remaining and showing up is rare, but doesn't stop my mind lol.

I just want it done and fingers crossed have a break from tests etc.

I am now just trying to lose the weight I have put on, I used to be able to eat anything and no weight gain but sadly not now so zipping my mouth a bit more.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day, its been over a year since I was told I had cancer and its seems like years ago and i am back to dancing with grandchildren to the dreaded baby shark songs lol.xx

Hi Barbara.

Thank you. Yes, you're right as always

I do need to cut my colleagues some slack as honestly I didn't realise how much my thryoid did until I was about to lose it so, as they say, ignorance is bliss. Why should my colleagues know about how wonderful their thyroid is or thyroid cancer for that matter!

I took your advice and did speak to my boss today and felt much better about it. I'm a teacher and everyone is planning for September, but I just want to get my results over and done with in June!

Thanks again, Barbara, and fingers crossed.

Ajs

Well done for talking to the boss.  And fantastic that you're glad you did it.

If we're honest, most of us have taken other people's claims that 'I'm fine' at face value and not pushed them on the issue. Sometimes we know they're not but it's so much easier not to probe too deeply. And when we're the ones going through a tough time, most of us are ready to strangle those well-meaning folk who ask "How are you?" pause, sympathetic look, head on one side like a puppy "No REALLY, HOW are you?" 

They can't get it right whatever they say - especially when we're scared and hormonal and ready to snap their heads off. (or maybe that was just me - you may be a living ray of sunshine and serenity but I suspect not all the time).

Hi Charlie61.

Thank you so much. So pleased it's not just me who feels this way!

I too have put on a lot of weight and was very lucky like you in that until recently I could eat what I wanted, but that's definitely changed now. I'm trying to look on the bright side and remember that at the beginning of last year I didn't feel like eating at all and lost weight, so at least I have my appetite back now!

I've also lost muscle mass but apparently that's a sign of hyperthyroidism and if hopefully our results are OK then I was told thay they would lower the thyroxine dose and then we might be hypo. At least the horrible lump is out though!

I guess, like you, I'm beginning to feel better and want to carry on that way, so fingers crossed for both of us that all is good when we get our results in June!

It's definitely changed my perspective on everything and made me realise what my priorities are! :-)

All the best,

Ajs

Hi Charlie

REALLY sorry to read about your father. Cancer has this habit of being nowhere and then suddenly you've got it and people around you are getting it and it feels like no sentence gets spoken without cancer sneaking in somewhere. 

I had surgery, just over a year after my sister had a hemi-thyroidectomy (clear), then 6 months later my step-father was diagnosed with incurable myeloma, and a year after that my sister in law got breast cancer. Cancer's like buses - none for years then they all turn up at the same time.

That said though YIPEEEEEEE indeed for your results. Long may that continue to be the case.

Baby Shark do do do do-da-do; Grandma shark - la la la

Hi Barbara.

Yes, I remember those puppy dog looks and initially I had no idea why some people were looling at me like that and/or the other extreme of pretending it wasn't happening which is just as annoying, so, yes, damned if they do and damned if they don't...

You've reminded me that my colleagues at work have always kept it "real" and managed to be perfectly in the middle, so to speak, being caring but not treating me like I was a completely different person! 

Only you, Barbara, I'm a living ray of sunshine and serenity and rainbows ALL the time and I'm sure everyone who knows me would agree with me on that...NOT!!!   I've definitely been scared and hormonal and talk even more than I used to because my thyroxine dose is still too high for which I have apologised to my colleagues...Gave up coffee a couple of weeks ago so hopefully that's helping my colleagues and me!...

Thanks again and take care.

Ajs

Hi Charlie.

Sorry about your father too.

Following on from what Barbara said, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer last year and got his results the day after I got mine...

Keeping everything crossed for you. I think it's really true that what doesn't break you makes you stronger and that must be the case with you with everything you've been through.

Take care.

Ajs