New and feeling overwhelmed...

Hi

sorry to hear you are feeling the way you have described after your treatment.  Remember you have been through a lot and it will take time for things to settle, physically and mentally.

i don’t think it is unusual to feel that way.   For context I am about 2.5 years Into surveillance and the period close to the scans and blood tests still brings anxiety.  We are all different and deal with things in our own way and in our own time.

It may be worth calling your specialist nurse and talk to them about how you are feeling.   They may offer you the option to talk to someone about your feelings?

If you haven’t already give the forum a search as it is like.y others have asked similar things before.  I did this in the time around diagnosis and found it very helpful.

regards

TC

Hello Hightower, you are not alone with your thoughts and feelings. I don’t post often but read the posts on this community to realise what I am going through is normal given the situation and is slight  similar but not the same as yourself.   I initially found a lump in  this February and by April I had lost a testicle by having it removed due to the severity of the cancer and portability of it spreading, however 4 weeks later I received a call from the consultants secretary telling me an appointment had been made for me to attend the following week and she needed to confirm it.  It turned out I needed to undergo some radiotherapy. As soon as she said that my mind exploded, I can handle physical injury but radiation was something I was not in control of and everyone I new of that had gone down the chemo and radiotherapy path had not come back so after it was confirmed I stupidly ignored all correspondence and telephone calls from the hospital and my GP.  It wasn’t until my GP paid an unexpected home visit that they caught me and I had a heart to heart with my GP (Brilliant lady). 

I am now coming to the end of my radiotherapy and have to admit it’s not the cancer but the treatment I am having problems with. Brain fog, fatigue, staying awake, going to sleep, eating but I am determined not to let it beat me. I still somehow work 3 days a week which helps me financially but most weeks I forget people’s name or have to disappear to throw up as someone has come into the office smelling of cigarette smoke , however I would rather do that and be with people that understand than lay on the couch watching Daytime tv all day.   I have also learnt to be grateful for small things in life (it may sound silly ) but in this heatwave if you can’t go out open your windows and listen to everything going on from the birds in the trees to conversation of people near by or planes overhead on their way to some foreign land. It made me grateful how lucky on bad days that I can still see, hear, talk, type, smile and even cry when  having a bad day.  Please don’t ever hesitate to either contact the community or the MacMillan help line if you feel you have no where to turn.  I’m not a professional or work with MacMillan website or charity but if you ever need to sound off or just a chat via messenger via MacMillion and are not confident about contacting anyone else  line then please feel free to contact myself.

take care my friend and please remember you are not going through this alone .