Good morning , my son was diagnosed with testicular cancer 3 weeks ago. He has already had the left removed , ct scan shown it is in the lymph nodes and starts 3 rounds of BEP on Monday. How can i support him as he is only 28 ?
Hello Tabb—so sorry to hear you're going through this! The bit before chemo, with all the waiting and test results, is a very unpleasant time of life. That being said, once treatment starts you can focus better on getting through it—it becomes much more manageable emotionally.
My husband has just completed 3 rounds of BEP chemotherapy and is starting to recover well (he is 29, so very similar age to your son!). During treatment, I just made sure to keep the house tidy and take care of all the chores (dog walks, dinners etc.) so that he could focus on resting and enjoying his time at home. Even little things like getting the car cleaned out and washed or taking out the bins just put his mind at rest, and helped him realise he could be 100% "off" and not worry about all those daily goings on.
Some people dropped off frozen meals which were really handy for those busy days when you didn't want to start into making dinner in the evening. Simple things like curries and stews were super.
I also got him some self care supplies for any potential side effects—lip balm and hand cream for dry skin, mints/fruity sweets for the bad chemo taste. Got him new jammies and sweats, too, for those hospital stays.
I would also say that there were many moments when I wanted to talk about everything, and my husband simply didn't—at least not with me. I had to learn to give him space to think things through for himself, or go off to spend more time with friends/family for a bit of normality. He seemed so much brighter after having a normal chat with his brother, or having a friend over just to eat pizza, so trying to talk about life outside of cancer can be good, too.
Macmillan has lots of info on counselling, too, which can be a big help for people who don't want to talk to loved ones about all the scary bits they're going through.
If you need any other advice, or just someone to talk to, drop me a message any time :) and remember to take care of yourself too—it's hard to watch someone you love go through something scary like this, so make sure you're well supported by friends and family, as well.
