Having a bad day

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Hi, my symptoms started just after I lost my mum in December. I initially put them down to stress, but managed to get a private referral in the new year which resulted in a gastroscopy and cancer diagnosis at the beginning of Feb. Since the initial shock, I’ve had a CT scan which showed my chest and abdomen was clear, but sadly the biopsies taken were not sufficient to grade my tumour which is located towards the outer curve at the bottom of my stomach, so I’ve been scheduled for another gastroscopy on Tuesday this week for more biopsies. 

I’m 54 and very active, but my decline in energy is really frightening me. I’m unable to eat, except soup and milkshakes - both leave me with bloating and discomfort. I’ve really been super positive with everyone, but the thought of another 10 days without answers and constant focus on unpalatable food has got to me today and I feel a bit hopeless. 

I’m a tough cookie really, and whatever my future is, I’ll cope. I was all geared up for a treatment plan and the 2-3 week delay caused by the inconclusive results is so frustrating and worrying. 

  • Oh I am so sorry to hear about this delay to starting treatment as well as the uncertainty, not knowing what you are dealing with is the worst time!  I do all I can to distract myself… watch a new Boxset, read a book, go for a short walk… I also used the Headspace app to develop mindfulness techniques that I still use but they really helped me cope with panic and anxiety.

    If you have a Maggie’s Centre near you , then I found they were really good and very supportive. You are also still grieving for your mum, so it must be a really hard time! 
    Try to focus on the positive, there is no spread and there will be a treatment plan! 
    The Oesophageal Patient Association has some helpful information on what to eat when getting enough nutrition is difficult 

    https://opa.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Swallowing-Nutrition-V1.5-No-Guides.pdf

    Hope you get a clearer picture soon and begin treatment! 

    Jac

    Life is what happens when you are making other plans!  
     
     
  • Thank you for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. Tomorrow is another day. 

  • Hi, I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis… I was 53 when I was diagnosed in November 2021… I do hope the delay isn’t too long a wait for you… I was the same when there was a delay as you just want the treatment to start as soon as possible… 

    Boxsets and binge watching tv was the best for me as a distraction, in fact I’m rewatching some now as I watched so many I forgot about what happened… 

    Stay strong and positive… Michele 

  • Thank you. Trying to stay positive, but the longer it takes the more the doubt creeps in and all those what if’s.. it’s not really like me. I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out. 

  • Hi, yes it’s a normal reaction to feel anxious as time passes by very slowly when you are waiting in anticipation… your mind will always think what ifs… but unfortunately cancer plays a horrible doubt with us… it’s a strange emotional experience… you’ve got this!! 

    Take care 

    Michele 

  • So sorry to hear this. My husband was in a similar position biopsy was inconclusive and second one needed. His results came back after 2_weeks with confirmed results so we at least know what it is. Unfortunately his is a sarcoma in his stomach and inoperable but chemo offered as palliative. Now awaiting a heart scan and appointment with the sarcoma team. It is one wait after another and so stressful. Keep positive and we'!! All hopefully get there in the end. We are just trying to keep life as normal as we can but really hard.

  • I’m so sorry to hear that surgery is not an option for your husband and really hope that he sees the sarcoma team very soon. It’s the uncertainty and waiting that is so hard to deal with.