Mum may not have much time left :-(

Hi everyone 

I’ve joined the group because my Mum (late 70’s) was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer mid-2021. It had metastasised to lymph nodes by the stomach, liver and lungs and was described as inoperable- “not curable but treatable” they said. They didn’t operate but she went on chemo.

She got through 12 rounds of Folfox chemo, reacted well to it (lymph nodes “resolved”) and had a break for a few months. Scans in July 2022 showed progression of the disease (back in lymph nodes by the stomach, growth on spots in liver and lungs, 2cm increase in size of stomach tumour). She was weak after a kidney infection she got at the end of June so they pushed out resumption of chemo until September.

She had a couple of rounds of Folfiri before getting another kidney infection. While she was in hospital for a week, they did a CT scan. Results showed progression of the disease and they’re concluding that Folfiri isn’t working for her. We don’t know if most of the growth between the 24/07/22 and 22/10/22 scans happened before she started the chemo in September and if they’d expect to see results after only 2 cycles.

Mum has appointment on 16/11 with consultant who is on Annual Leave currently to discuss options which I believe are

(A) Try a couple more rounds of Folfiri 

(B) Change to a different line of treatment 

(C) Stop treating the disease 

I think C is where things are going soon as she has been very frail. They told us to try build up her strength before she sees the consultant on 16/11/22. She was floored after the antibiotic for the kidney infection. Once we get to the “stop treating the disease” point, I have no idea what happens next in terms of how much quality time she will have left.

Mmum and 89yo Dad (who has dementia) live together. My brother is nearby and sees them every day (they live on the farm that he farms but he lives 1.5 miles away rather than with or beside them), my sister and I are over an hour away with full time jobs plus young children that restrict our freedom of movement, and our other brother lives abroad. Mum is not bedridden but spends most of her time in bed or lying on the sofa due to lack of energy. We make a smoothie for her breakfast with Complan, high calorie yogurt, oats, milk, banana, etc. and other than that she lives on yoghurt, Fortisip, other soft things. She was able to eat a banana sandwich last night.

Would love to chat to anyone else whose family members have unfortunately hit this stage. 

xx Love to all.. this sucks!