My husband recently diagnosed

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My husband was diagnosed on 28th December with stomach cancer which has spread to his liver.  He didn't even know he was ill until he experienced stomach pain from 8th December which didn't go away.  We ended up going to A&E to get a quick diagnosis as things were too slow through our GP.  On New Year's Day we went to A&E again after waiting four hours for an ambulance because he was in a state of near collapse, then he sat all night in a chair in A&E then another night in a chair elsewhere in the hospital.  He came home after a few days but I was so worried - watching him all the time to see that he was eating and drinking.  On Monday we went to the hospital for a blood test and because I was worried about his bloatedness he ended up being admitted again for more tests.  In such a short time he is a shadow of his former self, so weak.  The latest tests will indicate if and how he can be treated and I and the family are trying to stay positive.

I want him home but I won't cope - he has always been my rock and I know he still wants to be but he has no energy.  Last year he painted all the garden fences, he always insists on doing all the iroing for me, he is so lovely.  I can't give him nursing care, wiping his bottom etc., - it would ruin our relationship and I don't want that to be my last memories, but I feel guilty because part of me wants him to stay in hospital or a care facility so I can just sit with him.  I am grieving for the lovely cosy life we had together which is already gone. 

I know I'm rambling but I am totally lost and devastated.

  • I am so sorry to hear about your husband and it’s all happened so fast, I am not surprised you are feeling lost and devastated. 
    Hopefully there will be a Multi Disciplinary Team meeting to agree a treatment plan which will ease his symptoms and hopefully slow down the spread. 
    There are a number of people on this group who have had a similar diagnosis so don’t give up hope.   
    Once you know what the treatment is, you can adjust your life and give him all the love and care he needs! 
    It’s good he is in hospital as that’s the best place for him when he’s so unwell.   Hopefully the tests will give a clearer picture and you will then know what treatment is needed! 
    Take care xx

    Jac

    Life is what happens when you are making other plans!  
     
     
  • Hi really sorry to hear this. Di he have CT scan or endoscopy for the diagnosis? How did they established that it has spread to the liver?

  • Hi, he had a CT scan in A&E and they gave the diagnosis straight away.  Up till then we and our GP were thinking it might be a problem with his gallbladder, possibly stones.  Total shock.