Stage 4 - But Can't Get Palliative Chemo

I am so sorry to hear of your Dads diagnosis.  My mum was diagnosed in June 2022 and were more or less told sorry no treatment off you go and get on with life.  Since the diagnosis it has been a rollercoaster of health issues and emotions, from October onwards constant sickness to the point of not being able to keep anything down.  The wonderful Macmillan nurse in the community referred Mum to hospital for a further endoscopy to ascertain what was causing the sickness, Mum was very weak at this point and we were warned that she wouldn't see Christmas if things carried on the way the were.  Following the endoscopy we found out that the tumor was totally blocking the intestine.  We had a worrying few days to determine whether Mum was well enough to be given gastric bypass, fortunately she was and had the op in late November.  Since then she has improved and had a quality of life and maintaining her weight (obviously not back to her usual self and nor will she).  I hope that this gives you some hope that its not all down hill from here.  I have to say had the community macmillan nurse not stepped in then she wouldn't be with us now and I will be forever grateful for this extra time we have with her and just taking one day at a time xx

Hope you are ok. We are in a similar situation. Our dad has stage 4 stomach cancer which has now spread. We were hoping to do 2nd line treatment but he started being sick a lot and then got weaker as a result. He has lost too much weight that it will be hard for him to do treatment now. We haven't had the final word from the oncologist yet but it is heading that way.

So we are now focusing on quality of life with the time that we have. Some days are hard when you see your dad crying and suffering but I'm also comforted in knowing that we are all here for him and we can enjoy the other days when he is better and can still chat and go for drives. 

Take care of yourself and enjoy each day xx

Thank you for taking the time to reply and for sharing some of your mum's journey.  

I am pleased your mum was able to have the surgery.  It really is about quality of life now, isn't it.  Is your mum able to get out and about? 

We were hoping Dad could have a stent last Tuesday to allow him to eat more. Unfortunately when they completed the endoscopy they found the stent wouldn't hold so instead layered some of the tumour away.  

We were told he would be in some pain for a few days but his pain got progressively worse. Dr has prescribed morphine now. He had been on trammadol and paracetamol 4x a day but we were told to stop this. 

He had a bad night last night, he was in so much pain he thought I'd given him the wrong tablet. But I hadn't .

I ended up giving him his usual 2x tramadol and 2x Paracetmol.  I will call the Dr first thing to ask for a higher dose. The norphoke prescribed is 12hr release 5mg. I've been up the last couple of hours reading and it appears like it's a really small dose. 

The dr commented yesterday how pale he was. But with the pain he was so flushed . Also had to give him a telling off because he hadn't woken me. He heard me getting up for our youngest at 4am and called to me then. I wish he would let me know, I've told him any time day or night O don't mind!

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I am sorry to hear your dad's cancer has spread. Has the oncologist provided any update on possible treatments now?

You're right, need to enjoy the good days and make the most of them. 

Dad doesn't want to do anything. He watches TV. And that's pretty much it.  I've tried card games, board games etc but he isn't interested. Says he's happy sitting watching TV. But it's no life  We have a caravan at a haven park. So we've taken him down there last weekend and although he left the caravan only once for a few hours he said he enjoyed it. (The 2nd day he had to lay down all day to recover from the few hours he had been out)

We got him a wheelchair so we can get him out and about. He wants an electric scooter but I don't think he'd even have the energy to manoeuvre one.  But will take him to a showroom to let him get a feel for one. And we can take ot from there. My worry is he gets one. We go out for a walk (him a scoot) and he gets a very short distance and realises he doesn't have the energy for it and then gets really disappointed  

Yes we got an update and as suspected, he's too weak and underweight to start immunotherapy which he was originally signed off for. Oncologist thinks it will be too much for him.

Like your dad, ours is also sat in front of the TV most days watching shows about food! I think cause he can't eat like he used to, he gets something out of watching others eat. I thought that might be self-torture but helps him take his mind off things. 

That's lovely that you have a caravan at the park and can enjoy that with your dad and sounds like he really appreciated that. We also got a wheelchair for him but have only managed it out once. The weather has been cold and raining so not great for getting out. 

How are you doing yourself?