In 2007 my husband was diagnosed with a soft tissue Sarcoma. We were advised that as this was such a low grade and also the fact that they could not see the actual tumour when they split open his calf muscle, it would never come back. Fast forward to September 2022, it was back, but was now Myxoid Liposarcoma and the most devastating of all, terminal. After having six round of “Red Devil” chemo, he looked and felt great and we had a fantastic six months, but then again it was back alive so to speak and the last Chemo failed, with him being rushed back into hospital on Boxing Day 2023. Again my beloved proved them wrong and returned home 2 weeks later and remained at home with me until 13 February 2024 when things turned very quickly and he died that same day. People ask how I am, honestly, I aren’t sure, but I know I aren’t alive properly so to speak, I can’t eat and dropped 2 stone in under a week and although I am tired I can’t sleep. I feel absolutely lost, after 39 years together I don’t know what to do or how to act. People, keep,saying it will get better, but will it, how can it. I honestly don’t want to be here, if it wasn’t for our son and wonderful grandson, I don’t think I could carry on. I know a lot of you are gong through the same, but just wondered if putting this down in writing would actually help me.
West Yorkshire I am so very sorry for your loss. There really is no right or wrong way when it comes to grief, but I do hope that writing your thoughts down has helped.
There are a couple of groups here on the Macmillan online community that you may want to join if you have not already Bereaved family and friends forum and the Bereaved spouses and partners forum are supportive groups where you will meet other people in a similar situation to yourself.
You may also want to look at online bereavement support. There is a very good bereavement charity that supports people who have lost a loved one with cancer. I will pop a link below for you. Just click on that and it will take you straight to the page.
Sending you a virtual hug.
